Meme: “Zulu” Shows the “Full Orlando Bloom,” Madonna Banned From Theater For Texting, Could Alexander Skarsgard Be Christian Grey?

Marvel’s secret digital series, 60 Minutes visits with Jack Andraka, and Sir Anthony Hopkins fanboys over Breaking Bad.

Sir Anthony HopkinsSir Anthony Hopkins may be the world’s biggest Breaking Bad fan out there – and he only started watching the show two weeks ago. He actually sent Bryan Cranston a fan letter.  “Your performance as Walter White was the best acting I have seen – ever. I know there is so much smoke blowing and sickening bullshit in this business, and I’ve sort of lost belief in anything really. But this work of yours is spectacular – absolutely stunning. What is extraordinary, is the sheer power of everyone in the entire production. What was it? Five or six years in the making? How the producers (yourself being one of them), the writers, directors, cinematographers…. every department – casting etc. managed to keep the discipline and control from beginning to the end is (that over used word) awesome.”

What happens if you create an avatar and name him Todd? Say Todd is the absolute average American male based on CDC statistics. How would he measure up to the average Dutch male, or French male? The answer isn’t great.  Todd teeters on the edge of obese with a BMI of 29. He’s Juliet Rylancepaunchy, especially compared to his Dutch counterpart, who would turn heads in a gay club. We’re headed toward the future we saw in Wall-E.

Kalinda’s love interest for the new season of The Good Wife, played by Juliet Rylance, has been cut completely.

Fifty Shades of Grey has hired a new writer to polish the script as they begin the search for a new male lead for the film. While most assumed they’d have to go for an unknown to play the part due to the nudity and the content, they may have a loophole. What about Alexander Skarsgard? He’s proven to have zero issues with nudity or sex, plus True Blood is heading towards the end. And he has the controlled, remote thing that I assume they’re looking for.

Meanwhile, the frontrunners to play Henry Pym in Ant Man seem to be Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Paul Rudd, which feel like very different types to me. Studios seem determined to give JGL superpowers somehow, but I’m not sure Henry Pym is the one for him. As for Rudd – really?Paul Rudd

Miss Manners is tired of people looking for loopholes – a married man is a husband, whether he’s married to a woman or another man. A wife is a wife, even if she’s married to her own wife. They’re still fathers, mothers, regardless of their number. And that settles that.

MPs In Kuwait are hitting back at Amnesty International for their opposition to their testing for homosexuality and gender identity for people entering the company, and it underscores why events like the World Cup can’t be held in places like the GCC.  “I condemn the brazen requests by an organisation that introduces itself as a protector of freedoms and human rights. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs should respond urgently to the so-called Amnesty International to highlight the noble Islamic principles, values and teachings in which the people of Kuwait believe and which reject the propagation of vice and debauchery in the community.”

Madonna has been banned by the notoriously cell phone-phobic Alamo Drafthouse theaters after texting during a screening of 12 Years a Slave. When she was challenged to put away her phone, she responded “It’s for business … enslaver!” which may have been a poor choice of words considering the film she was attending.

North Carolina’s Attorney General Roy Cooper has endorsed marriage equality but says that he will continue to vigorously defend the state’s constitutional band in pending litigation.

Marvel is said to be quietly preparing a package of four series and a miniseries, totaling 60 episodes for bids on VOD and digital platforms like Hulu and Netfilx. There’s no word on what characters are involved or what storylines, but this could be an interesting way to introduce characters like Captain Marvel that everyone wants to see.Captain Marvel

On Wednesday in Michigan there will be a hearing on marriage equality, and activists think it’s going to go our way. County clerks are on standby to issue licenses and 44 members of the clergy are available to conduct ceremonies on the spot of the order isn’t stayed by Judge Friedman, so marriages can happen before and appeal. I was aware of the case in Michigan, but had no idea that the possibility of marriage equality was so imminent.

As rumors swirl that a deal is being made to reopen the government and raise the debt ceiling just a bit, it has come to attention that on the eve of the shutdown, House Republicans changed the rules of the chamber that previously allowed any member to force a vote on a bill from the Senate to allowing only ideologue Rep. Eric Cantor to force a vote. So yes, they planned this disaster.

While a judge in California ruled that gay conversion therapy bans were constitutional because it’s not speech, it’s conduct, there’s reason to hate the ruling. It’s a weird way to rule, and the issue isn’t conduct, it’s regulation of state licensed medical professionals and their actions. They’re not Lance Bassallowed to prescribe aspirin for cancer, so why should they be allowed to go against all science on therapy for minors?

Lance Bass wonders where the American boy bands are. “Where are our American boy bands? [The English are] kickin’ our ass. I’m excited to see the next big Backstreet [Boys], the next big *NSYNC come out, because I think it’s just around the corner.” Says the man who now produces a boy band.

Utah is sticking to an old script, defending their marriage ban with the argument that gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry because they can’t procreate. “Same-sex couples, who cannot procreate, do not promote the state’s interests in responsible procreation (regardless of whether they harm it),”

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It’s been a rough week already, so please enjoy this bear playing tetherball. In all honesty, this depresses me. It reminds me that I never could play tetherball in school without ending up with a bruise on my face. This bear is a better athlete than me, and he isn’t even a primate.

I’m sure that you remember Mister Chase from the many sexy videos he’s done, but now he’s taken Miley Cyrus’ “F U” and really transformed it. This is my new breakup song if I ever decide to have a relationship to break up from.

While sitting with a suddenly very attentive Sir Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom reveals that he spent most of a week wearing nothing but a cock sock for a movie called Zulu, and that yes, you do get to see the Full Orlando Bloom.

Later, Sir Ian gets the chance to play Plead the Fifth, except at his age, why bother not answering the question. I’m made extremely hopeful by his answer to the last time he watched porn.

The Property Brothers take on their biggest challenge yet with a couple that can’t agree on anything at all about their housing project. We feel you guys.

60 Minutes did a great profile on wonder kid Jack Andraka and his revolutionary test for pancreatic cancer. They followed his enthusiasm, his family, and his upcoming projects, but somehow never managed to ask him if he had time to date, which would have been a perfect way to mention that he was gay and give a lot of families out there a little something to feel good about.

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