Meme: CBS Spikes Rihanna, Mayim Bialik Attacks Elsa, MTV Serves Up Abs and Incest on “Happyland”

Nick Jonas loves his gay fans, the U.S. is a Christian nation because of bacon, Tom Goss and Jeb Havens Shake It Off

RihannaRihanna took offense when CBS decided to preempt the premiere of her new NFL song in the wake of the Ray Rice domestic violence tape being released, and tweeted a “F*ck you!” at the network, even though they planned to premiere the song this week for the whole season. That didn’t sit well with CBS, which announced it was scrapping the song altogether and going a different way. I honestly get both sides, because Rihanna probably doesn’t want to be defined as a victim forever over Chris Brown. I also understand the optics CBS was concerned about.

Of course, the NFL has a problem with domestic abuse on several teams now, from the Panthers to the Vikings. And many say they haven’t handled any of it well. One thing that might push them to more decisive action is messing with their money, and Budweiser, the biggest sponsor of the Super Bowl has issued a statement that they are not happy. “We are disappointed and increasingly concerned by the recent incidents that have overshadowed this NFL season. We are not yet satisfied with the league’s handling of behaviors that so clearly go against our own company culture and moral code. We have shared our concerns and expectations with the league.” Covergirl, which just entered into a major sponsorship with the league, has already voiced their concerns.

In a move that surprises no one, the judge in the marriage equality case in my home state of West Virginia has extended the stay on the case pending the appeal of the ElsaVirginia case to the Supreme Court.

Mayim Bialik is on a roll. First she slams Ariana Grande, and now she’s going after Frozen. She’s upset with the plot about getting married, which most said Disney artfully avoided this time. And she hates how the women are drawn. “The male characters look like cartoon men. They have some exaggerated features, sure. But by and large, they look like they have the proportions of human beings. Not so with our lead ladies. They have ginormous eyes. Like really ridiculously big. Teeny-tiny ski slope noses. Exaggerated delicate ski sloppiness, actually. Barbie doll proportions of their bodies in general: tiny waists, ample busts, and huge heads. They look like dolls. They don’t look like the same species as the male characters even! What’s up with that?! My sons thought the females looked like BRATZ dolls, truth be told. I kind of agree.” I’ll give her that the female characters are unrealistic. But so are the males. Mr. Olympia doesn’t have the shoulders and chest of Kristoff. It’s a cartoon, it’s not terribly realistic to start with. There’s a talking, singing snowman. Just how much attention does Bialik need in her life?

Do you feel guilty talking about your new yacht on Facebook? Feel judged by your Twitter followers over that new Maybach in your icon? Well now you can join Netropolitan, the social network for rich Lucifer Morningstarpeople! It’s designed like a country club, with a $9,000 initial fee to join, and $3,000 each year afterwards, but can you really put a price on having people who can recommend a decent realtor in Sun Valley?

While I’ve generally associated Lucifer with Fox News more than Fox itself, the network is shooting a pilot of the DC Comic, in which Lucifer gets bored with hell and moves to Los Angeles to open a piano bar, which has to be the gayest plot line I’ve ever heard, and there’s probably nothing gay at all about the comic.

The Human Rights Campaign has put together an extensive report on the business of exporting anti-gay hate around the world, featuring notables like Scott Lively and Robert Oscar Lopez. They may not be able to win at home anymore, but that doesn’t stop them from making the world at large a worse place.

What was FunnyOrDie trying to accomplish here?

Nick JonasNick Jonas has spent a lot of time trying to get the gays excited about his new album and television show, but that’s only because he loves us. “I love it; I’m thrilled by that. I always had a pretty strong gay fan base, having been a theater kid…That’s a community that I love and have embraced, and [they’ve] embraced me. I love them. They’re so supportive.” Are you sure it’s not because we can give you a ton of press?

Some colleges, like Ohio State, are requiring students to have “affirmative consent” for sex. Not just not saying “no” but actually saying “yes.” I completely agree that in the college environment it’s a wise idea, though incredibly awkward, and does it need to be witnessed and notarized? But Rush Limbaugh thinks that’s silly, because after all, “no means yes if you know how to spot it.”

Not that I’m ever the kind of guy to come out against bacon in any way, but perhaps Bryan Fischer is abusing the holy flavor of bacon. “You want one single item of proof that America is a Christian nation and not a Jewish nation and not an Islamic nation? One single bit of proof is all you need: we freely allow restaurants and grocery stores to sell and to serve bacon. That can only happen in a Christian country. So the sheer fact that we freely allow the sale and consumption of bacon is absolute proof that we are, in fact, a Christian nation.”

Netflix knows your dirty little secrets. It knows you marathoned the Police Academy movies one weekend (which might point to heavy pot smoking). It knows you watched nine romantic comedies after your last breakup. It’s all there in your viewing history. But now they’re allowing you to delete things from your history so that nobody will ever know your affection for Ernest Goes To Camp.U2

Speaking of deleting things, Apple has set up a page that allows you to delete that U2 album from your iTunes library.

The Advocate has named their 50 Most Influential LGBT People In Media, and while I’m still not on the list, I do have several friends on it, and couldn’t be happier for them.

Talk about needing to hSean Maherave a lawyer read any contract before you sign it. Iggy Azalea’s partner in her sex tape also used to also have a business relationship with her, and he says he has a 2009 contract from her stating he has the right to “manufacture, sell, distribute and advertise ‘any’ recording embodying visual images.”

Pandas are precious creatures, but renting them from China is expensive. Really, really expensive.

Sean Maher has signed on as the lead in indie sci-fi movie ISRA-88, about a two man spaceship whose crew is on a mission to find the end of the universe. Maher will play a scientist who begins to lose his mind on the long mission.

Despite the advances in LGBT rights over the last several years, gay people of color are still underserved.Jim Parsons

Patrick Warburton says that the reboot of the live action The Tick is moving along. He says that he expects it to be darker and edgier, more like the comic than the campy cartoon. And he’s hoping to play the role again.

Jim Parsons scored the second highest Q Score of fall television actors. Q scores are things that the general public doesn’t hear about that often, but they’re like gold in Hollywood. They measure both name recognition and how positively the public feels about you. Parsons was edged out of the #1 spot by NCIS’s Michael Weatherly.

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With news that Dwayne Johnson is going to play Black Adam in the Shazam movie, I really needed to revisit the character. What I wasn’t expecting was DC Nation to give me a crash course in what the film probably won’t be, but probably should be. Because this is how I’d probably end up abusing my superpowers. This and flying hundreds of miles to find a Krispy Kreme shop with the sign on.

Happyland is a new amusement park-based series from MTV. When the trailer was shown at the TCA, all the critics could focus on was the implied incest in the trailer. I thought that might get edited out before the trailer went to mass audiences, but it’s still there. As are Shane Harper’s abs. His glistening abs. In any case, they say the whole kissing your sister thing will be resolved and played for comedy fairly quickly.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” is one of those iconic songs that really shouldn’t be covered. Now 14 of you are about to scream “Adam Lambert did it better” at us on Twitter, but most people would agree that Queen and Freddie did the definitive version of the song. It’s like Simon Cowell always told people on American Idol: Don’t sing Whitney Houston. There is only one Whitney Houston, and attempting “I Will Always Love You” for an audition invites a comparison you don’t want made. The same used to be said about Mariah Carey, but then Ariana Grande came along and stole her whistle tone. But back to “Bohemian Rhapsody” which Panic! At the Disco did a perfectly serviceable version of, and had there never been a Freddie Mercury, this could even be called great. But Freddie Mercury did exist, and this song was his. But if I can go all Creepy Uncle for a moment, did you see how much booty Brendon Urie is packing in those jeans? I could do daily squats for a decade and not have that.

I’ve been seeing the GIFs from this video all over Tumblr for days, but the only version of the actual video I’ve found is from a Facebook account that obviously doesn’t belong to hot guy driving. Based on the answers to the questions as he quizzes his kid, I’m just going to go out on a limb and guess he might be a gay dad/uncle.

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