Meme: Colton Haynes Fondles Big Balls, John Waters Remade “Pink Flamingos” With Children, HRC To Honor “The Imitation Game”

Porn is killing marriage, Neil deGrasse Tyson explains why Stephen Hawking is a badass, Netflix set to land Pee-Wee Herman film

Mike ColterMike Colter has been cast as Luke Cage for Netflix’s Jessica Jones, and the eventual spinoff series. He’ll be starring opposite Krysten Ritter’s Jessica Jones. You may know him from The Good Wife or remember him from American Horror Story: Coven.

The New Yorker imagines if Ayn Rand reviewed children’s movies. It’s pretty much perfect. Her review of 101 Dalmatians is “A wealthy woman attempts to do her impoverished school friend Anita a favor by purchasing some of her many dogs and putting them to sensible use. Her generosity is repulsed at every turn, and Anita foolishly and irresponsibly begins acquiring even more animals, none of which are used to make a practical winter coat. Altruism is pointless. So are dogs. A cat is a far more sensible pet. A cat is objectively valuable. —No stars.

According to the Family Research Council, the decline in marriage rates isn’t because of the gays. It’s because of porn. There’s no indication on their stance on gay porn and the rise in the number of gay marriages.

Pink FlamingosPink Flamingos is generally regarded as one of the most vile movies ever made. So John Waters decided to remake the film starring children. A few things had to be cut, dropping 20 minutes from the runtime, but he says this makes perfect sense. “I’ve always said that if you took out the sex and the violence, that it is a children’s story because it’s the battle of the gross-out, and that’s what most kids’ books are now. [The result is] even more perverse than the original, because it’s transforming innocence into a whole new kind of joyous, G-rated obscenity.”

Via press release, the Human Rights Campaign will be honoring The Imitation Game with the stars and producers at their New York City gala. They see nothing problematic with this choice?

A court in Beunos Aires has ruled that a shy orangutan is a nonhuman person with rights to bodily autonomy, and will be removed from a zoo to a sanctuary. Sandra was born into captivity, but has always been shy and tried to hide from view since being put on display at the zoo. The NonHuman Rights Project sued to have her removed to a less stressful place due to the shyness.

How John Lithgow and Alfred Molina ended up cuddling in a bunk bed instead of boning in Love Is Strange.Love Is Strange

Justin Lin, who directed four of the incredibly successful Fast & Furious films has been tapped as the director of the new Star Trek movie after Robert Orci dropped out from the role. Orci will still be producing.

Mayor Vincent Grey has signed the Washington D.C. ban on reparative therapy for minors into law. It resembles the laws in California and New Jersey that have withstood legal challenges.

Evidently Gwyneth Paltrow Pee-Wee Hermanwas negotiating for a high profile job at Yahoo based on her Goop lifestyle franchise, but Yahoo chief Marissa Mayer vetoed it because Paltrow doesn’t have a college degree.

Riley Keough and Jena Malone are set for the roadtrip movie Lovesong, “the tale of best friends Sarah (Keough) and Mindy (Malone) who take off on an impromptu road trip with Sarah’s young daughter in tow and see their deep BFFship develop into a surprising romance – despite the fact that Mindy is about to get married.”

One reason to get a Netflix subscription is because it looks like that’s what you’ll need to watch the new PeeWee Herman film. Originally set up at Universal, it’s now seeking a new home and Netfilx appears set to land it.

 

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While there have been DC/Marvel team ups in the past, that’s unlikely to happen again as exploiting the heroes of each company has become a huge business. Still, there’s now enough footage to splice together an epic trailer of the DC vs. Marvel movie that we’d all empty our 401(k) accounts to see. Bonus points for bringing TV’s Flash and Arrow to the party.

As part of the promotion for The Theory of Everything, Neil deGrasse Tyson explains just why Stephen Hawking is so “badass.”

Daniel Franzese seems to be everywhere, from Looking to playing Santa for Todrick Hall, to his own very successful viral video series. Here he explains that he doesn’t want your crappy gifts this Christmas, he just wants your company. But if you did happen to bring one other thing, your company would be a whole lot nicer.



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