Meme: Jake Gyllenhaal Pitches a Tent Naked, Linda Harvey Calls Gay Sex “Anatomically Challenged,” Honest Trailers Takes On “Frozen”

Enhance your web browsing with Digital Streaker, Joe Maganiello’s stripper doc La Bare gets release date, Captain America pursues the Winter Soldier

Jake GyllenhaalJake Gyllenhaal is bare-assed NSFW naked, pitching a tent and banging on pots and pans for some movie, and wearing a ridiculously large privacy pouch held on with gorilla tape. What’s he packing to need that much restraint.

With Digital Streaker, you can outfit your hirsute bear with a modesty token (I’m partial to the shuttlecock), then point him at your favorite homepage (might I suggest and he’ll run back and forth across your screen.

Here are 15 comics for people trying to explain what it means to be queer, and it’s a lot more complex than LGBTQ.

Linda Harvey finally admitted what drives her to “protect marriage.” She says “We aren’t fighting to protect marriage because the term and tradition are important. Let’s be honest that the only reason for this dispute is because people want to engage in anatomically challenged behavior that is observably unnatural, medically risky, improper as an example for children, and changeable. And it’s a behavior God calls sin. There is no other biblical description of homosexuality Blake McIverexcept always and only a big taboo. So in view of marriage law or public accommodations, could the immorality of homosexuality be a rationale for refusing to honor same-sex nuptials? Absolutely, it should be.” Well, it’s only anatomically challenging at advanced levels. Feel free to start simpler and work your way up.

Blake McIver admits that his sudden rise in fame when he appeared on The People’s Couch caught him off guard. ”I was definitely overwhelmed at first but this is so cool. How many people get this kind of overnight exposure? I was in the middle of doing what I loved anyway, just anonymously, so the fact that the show has provided me an opportunity and the ability to reach out and reach my fan base from when I was a kid! I mean, they’re all still out there! So many of them have reconnected with me, it’s amazing.”

We’ve already heard of “gay fat” thanks to American Dad (and I’m shocked at how many people are offended by that gag, which holds some truth, fair or not), but now the big problem is “skinny fat” or people who are naturally thin, eat whatever they want, and don’t exercise but assume they’re healthy. These people are collecting “visceral fat” around their organs, which is a genetically different type of fat putting you at risk for high blood pressure, heart attacks, and organ failure at a rate higher than what overweight but active people experience.Joe Mananiello

Joe Maganiello’s La Bare, the documentary about the male strippers at La Bare Dallas will have a June 27th theatrical release while we wait to see if he returns for Magic Mike 2.

Kevin Naff of the Washington Blade, who claims to have outed Shepard Smith after Shep hit on him in a NY bar says that Shep is the special guest at the annual fundraiser for the Gay & Lesbian Journalists Association next week. Why ask Smith to keynote that event?

Hey, guess what? Gays caused the crisis in the Ukraine according to Scott Lively. I wondered how long it would take us to be blamed for that.

You may recall young Marcel Neergaard who helped defeat the Don’t Say Gay bill in Tennessee and get the author’s honor from Student’s First rescinded. Now he’s back at school as an out 7th grader, and things are great. Some of his teachers think the bill passed and silence him. He gets picked on. He hears slurs. ”Sometimes being openly gay is like having a sign above my head that flashes ‘Different’ in neon colors. In chorus we are going on a field trip to King’s Island, which they do every year with seventh and eighth graders. The other boys in chorus refuse to sleep in the same room as me for fear of being ‘turned gay.’ In response to the Tilda Swintonboys’ refusal, the teacher pulled me aside and explained how the boys didn’t want to be in the same room with me because I’m gay. I thought the seventh grade boys were more mature than that.” You really need to read this kid’s full essay, because he’s wise beyond his years. He’s wise beyond my years.

Tilda Swinton thinks that gay people tend to be more aware of themselves and their relationships. “It is true that to pass through the transitions that gay people have to in order to come out to themselves, to their families when they’re quite young, it’s a grow-bag, isn’t it? And I think that very often, heterosexual people miss out on that. There’s a feeling of development and sometimes, heterosexual people have never had to go through that self-examination and just knowing themselves, and that sense of coming out, coming to your own defense, and being your own best advocate, and going, ‘No! I’m going to stand by myself and say this is who I am and you can all fuck off.’ That is a wonderful transition to go through, and I suppose a lot of straight people miss out on that, and then maybe their relationship choices are potentially less examined. They could be lazier or less thoroughly thought-through.

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First Kiss went viral yesterday. The basic premise is to get two strangers to make out for the camera. Some really get into it, and I’m pretty sure at least three of the couples boned after the shoot. The same-sex couple however, was ridiculously timid. I don’t know if they were actually straight or just bad casting, but it was almost comical compared to the others. Maybe we’re not all sex crazed maniacs after all?

Honest Trailers takes on Frozen, and the results aren’t pretty. Looked at through their lens, it’s incredibly formulaic, repetitive and makes no sense at all. I still haven’t seen the movie, but I do have plans for next week when it comes out on video/OnDemand.

snicks mentioned that Awkward was adding two gay characters for next season, although I don’t see them in this trailer. Mostly I noticed that Matty has a shirtless modelling gig for A&F at the mall, and in Jenna’s bedroom, the Magic Mike scene at school which seems to be a trope of inappropriate behavior in teen shows now, and Jake’s incredibly ridiculous hair, which might be contributing to how bad he evidently is in bed, probably because we know his one true love is Matty.

In the latest clip from Captain America: Winter Soldier, Cap is in pursuit of a shooter, which happens to be the Winter Soldier, who gives Cap the surprise of his life.

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