Meme: Jamie Dornan Understands Modeling, Fred Phelps Reportedly Near Death, Laverne Cox Rules the World

Guinness pulls out of parade, Chris Pine convicted of DUI, Kris Allen makes SXSW beautiful and wild

Chris PineIn what has to be the fastest trial I’ve ever heard of, Chris Pine was convicted of DUI in New Zealand. The actor was arrested last week after a wrap party. His lawyer argued he had a clean record, and that a conviction would make getting a visa difficult for the actor. The judge wasn’t buying it though. “This issue of a visa will be a complication, but you’re no different to other people who may wish to travel to Canada.” Pine still stopped outside the courthouse to sign autographs for fans.

Guinness joined Sam Adams, Hilton, and Heineken in dropping sponsorship of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade because LGBT groups are banned. Prominent gay bars including the Stonewall Inn were set to ban the beverage tomorrow in protest. Guinness, which famously had a banned gay ad in the past says “Guinness has a strong history of supporting diversity and being an advocate for equality for all. We were hopeful that the policy of exclusion would be reversed for this year’s parade. As this has not come to pass, Guinness has withdrawn its participation. We will continue to work with community leaders to ensure that future parades have an inclusionary policy.” That leaves Ford as the sole major sponsor.

Speaking of, Boston Mayor Marty Walsh followed through on his promise not to march in his city’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade after spending much of the week Laverne Coxtrying to find a compromise between organizers and the LGBT community.

Could Laverne Cox be more fierce than Beyonce?

Not only did Mr. Peabody and Sherman beat Need for Speed in the race at the box office, last week’s champ 300: Rise of an Empire lapped it as well.

Utah filed their final response in the marriage equality appeal in the state, using inflammatory language that’s not likely to please a federal court, saying a decision striking the ban is “an unprincipled judicial wrecking ball hurtling toward an even more important arena of traditional state authority.” They also claimed gay people already have the right to get married to someone of the opposite sex, so they’re equal.

According to his estranged son Nathan Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps has been excommunicated from the church and is near death in a hospice, isolated from his family.Jamie Dornan

Jamie Dornan knows that modeling is a weird way to make a living. “It would take a very foolish man to turn down the stuff that was offered to me. You’re in your twenties, and people are going to give you a silly amount of money to lean against a wall with your head down. F*** me, you’ve got to do it.” His big break into acting came as the lead in The Fall, and while he knows it was a wild leap in casting, he thinks he earned it. “But I feel like I f***ing earned it. I worked my dick off for that role.” That’s a shame, because I was quite hoping you needed your dick for Fifty Shades of Grey.

Newly released documents from the Clinton Administration show that they struggled dealing with “the gay issue” including when to mention Matthew Shepard. At times they avoided it, like a State of the Union address, because they knew it dropped the polls. But they did decide to go with it during a radio address against counsel that the legislative policy “is stay away from the gay issue.”

Nutso Harlem pastor James Manning has updated his church sign again, this time reading “Jesus would stone homos. Stoning is still the law.” Has anyone Quidditchchecked the fabrics of his clothes or his diet to be sure he’s conforming to all the laws?

The U.S. has announced that they’re suspending some aid to Uganda over their anti-gay laws, putting $3.9 million in HIV funds on hold. I’m all for defunding government aid, civilian and military especially, but I’m not sure I want the first thing we cut to be HIV funds.

JK Rowling has released the first part of the History of the Quidditch World Cup on Pottermore, some of the first longform extension of the Harry Potter world in years. Once both parts are released, 2,400 words about the history of the game, including rules like “no dragon is to be introduced into the stadium for any purpose including, but not limited to, team mascot, coach or cup warmer.”

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The number of parodies of First Kiss have been infinite. And I’m not sure that this is a parody. It claims to be an experiment getting a homophobic person to hug a gay person for the first time. There’s some chatting about why the homophobia exists, but it’s a lot less awkward than the original film. Does anyone think it’s real?

The premise from Buzzfeed here is fairly solid – what if commercials sexualized men the way they sexualized women. And some, like the Doritos commercial are stupid on their face. There’s nothing sexy about anyone of either gender in bed covered in Doritos. But the Hardees commercial is different. I’ve wondered for months why they can’t make one with a hot guy, and I think this shows that they can, they just need a professional to do it.

This dog isn’t allowed on the bed. But his owner is a bit suspicious, so she sets up a hidden camera to catch the pup. What follows is the fullest expression of joy I think you can possibly imagine. Let the dog on the bed! He just doubled the amount of happiness in the world.

Kris Allen went to SXSW and took the stage for Yahoo! to play a stripped down acoustic version of “Beautiful and Wild” and it was truly beautiful.

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