Meme: People Masturbate to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Barilla USA Apologizes, and How To Make “Star Wars” Great Again

Jimmy Fallon and The Roots tell us how to get to Sesame Street, only Alec Baldwin’s thumbs are homophobic, why haven’t Cam and Mitchell had sex?

Cam and MitchellOf course last night on Modern Family, we got double the proposals we were waiting for, but Salon doesn’t think that’s enough. They want Cam and Mitchell to have sex. There’s a point to be made – Jay and Gloria are quite sexual, and Claire and Phil have had several naughty escapades, but Cam and Mitchell are quite chaste. And Salon argues that just a roll over in bed could do wonders for removing that “icky feeling” that Americans have about gay sex. “But we would also really have to stretch our minds to find a mainstream television show that actually focuses on demonstrable and visible gay male sexuality and desire. Despite all of the legal, social and cultural gains of recent years, most Americans remain profoundly uncomfortable with the notion of gay sexuality.”

To do some followup on the dustup yesterday with Barilla and their comments that gays shouldn’t adopt, and that they won’t feature a gay couple in their advertising. The U.S. division issued a serious apology that didn’t mince words like corporate did. “At Barilla, we consider it our mission to treat our consumers and partners as our neighbors – with love and respect – and to deliver the very best products possible. We take this responsibility seriously and consider it a core part of who we are as a family-owned company. While we can’t undo recent remarks, we can apologize. To all of our friends, family, employees, and partners that we have hurt or offended, we are deeply sorry.”

Chrissy TiegenMy favorite celebrity reaction to Barilla comes from Chrissy Tiegen. “Barilla has a right to believe whatever they want. And I have the right to boycott them or fully fund a gay porn made in a tub of linguine.”

Meanwhile, Slate wonders why we care. Corporations are in the business to make money, and have our boycotts of Chick-Fil-A and others really gone well? “I’m by no means the first person to say this, but being offended (or for that matter, flattered) by an entity whose sole purpose is to sell things, maybe to you or maybe to someone else, is to unavoidably endorse and enliven the insidious concept of corporate personhood. Barilla is not your enemy and Absolut is not your friend; they are just businesses with PR departments that are at different points along the road toward realizing that influential, “taste-maker” minority groups are worth courting, both for direct patronage and easy image-boost-by-association. It’s unfortunate, I guess, that Barilla (or at least Guido Barilla) is behind the times on this matter, but the earnest anger I’m seeing online about that fact is perplexing. I mean, are you really so starved for approval that you need it to come packaged with pasta?”

Chris CarmackChris Carmack talks to Out about playing a closeted country singer in Nashville. “People I’ve spoken to say that at a certain level it’d be career suicide for somebody to come out of the closet. That’s a terrible kind of fame. I don’t think executives would give Will the time of day. That’s a damn shame, but in country music there’s a stigma that’s insurmountable.”

The LGBT Core Group at the United Nations has issued a declaration endorsing the advancement of gay rights worldwide. “’We hereby commit ourselves to working together with other States and civil society to make the world safer, freer and fairer for LGBT people everywhere,’ the document states, adding that they will tackle LGBT discrimination globally through concerted U.N. action.”

E.W. Jackson, the anti-gay candidate for Lt. Governor in Virginia had a restraining order taken out against him in a dispute with his daughter’s roommate in 2006 for allegedly threatening her life.

Religious groups, NOM, and other hate groups have designated October 23rd as “Defend Marriage Lobby Day” in Illinois.

Bill MaherBill Maher says that atheism is the “new gay marriage” when it comes to civil rights. He notes there are no open atheists in Congress. “They’re out there. They’re thinking it. They’re just afraid to say it. But that’s changing. It’ll be the new gay marriage.”

The Catholic Church, which was supposed to stop talking about homosexuality all the time has pressured a Rome gallery into removing a series of photographs on display that depicted gay couples kissing in churches around Rome. “Italian constitutional law safeguards an individual’s religious feeling and the function of places of worship. Therefore photos that are not suitable and do not conform to the spirituality of the place offend and infringe upon the advancement of man in the particular place for the expression of faith.”

Critique My Dick Pic is a new Tumblr that takes a submission of your shots of your junk and provides an assessment. It’s not about size or appearance, but composition. You’ll get an anonymous critique of “angles, lighting, and general tone.” No idea if it will help you on Grindr, Amber Tamblynbut here’s hoping.

The International Olympic Committee says that it’s satisfied that the anti-gay laws in Russia do not infringe on the Olympic Charter.

Amber Tamblyn talks about misconceptions about her character on Two and a Half Men. “I think it’s been perfectly handled. I think maybe I would say that I think we’re describing Jenny as a gay character, and I actually think she’s queer. That would be my thought. I haven’t said that yet, but that’s my thought. Well, that’s specifically for the gay community to understand, in the sense that it’s very complicated for Jenny. I’ve given a lot of thought to that, and I think the queer community is less about definition. It’s more about a community of culture. That would be my thought about it, because a lot of people are like, ‘I’ve heard some say she’s bi, and I’ve heard other writers say she’s gay. Which is it?’”

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E.W. Jackson is running for Lt. Governor of Virginia, and he’s being haunted by his history of anti-gay comments. He’s tried saying quoting him is a religious test for office, and now he’s saying those comments have been taken out of context. How exactly are we taking these comments out of context?

Meanwhile, Chris Doyle, one of the last remaining farces faces of the ex-gay movement is sad he hasn’t been invited to the White House to discuss ex-gay rights, and he says that gays are oppressing ex-gays.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt joined Stephen Colbert to talk about his movie Don Jon, satire, and pornography. While Colbert says that pornography masturbates to him, JoGo says that people masturbate to him. Has he been peeking in my windows?

Enjoy this beautifully animated love letter to JJ Abrams on how to make Star Wars great again. I’d add “no lens flares” to the list, but let’s not get silly with our hopes and dreams.

I dare you not to smile and sing along with Jimmy Fallon and the characters from Sesame Street telling you how to get to Sesame Street on classroom instruments.

South Park is back, and while I actually fell asleep watching the whole NSA plot, this NSFW infomercial they aired about Alec Baldwin and his homophobic tweets made me laugh out loud.

Frozen has put out a new trailer, and it changes viewpoints from the first one, but its funnier. It’s not a groundbreaking story (some could call it Once Upon a Time with snow), but it does seem to maintain the humor.

Meanwhile, a rare Thanksgiving movie is coming up, with Free Birds telling the story of turkeys going full Rambo on the farmers so that they can escape the fate of being Thanksgiving dinner. I’m not sure it looks interesting, but kudos for trying to tap a different holiday for a change.

Finally, grab your tissues, because you’re seriously going to need them as you watch this straight man talk about his gay brother, attending his wedding, and getting unfriended by a former work colleague for posting about his brother’s same-sex wedding on Facebook. What makes this work is how he suddenly realizes in a very personal way just how the anti-gay sentiment that we live with every day feels when it’s directed at him. Our straight allies are the key to our victories by adding numbers, and they do support and love us, but it’s not often they really get to understand what it’s like to be gay and unwanted.

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