Landon Donovan announces retirement, Law & Order: SVU hilarious zingers, Rocky the Musical stars strip down

Guess what? I was wrong about the American Family Association rushing to boycott Target after the retail giant filed a brief in support of marriage equality in Wisconsin and Indiana. The National Organization for Marriage beat them to the punch. "The brief they signed in court this week insinuates that people like you and me, who would vote to uphold traditional marriage, as akin to segregationists and racial bigots. Would you want to shop at a place that viewed you in that way?" Feel free to shop at Dollar General, bigots. All the designers for Target are gay anyway, and you can't be supporting that, can you?

Some guys are hot, but assholes. These two are evil enough that I'm supporting PETA, which is a first. Disgusting.

Universal and Brian Grazer's Imagine Entertainment have secured the rights to all past and future novels in the Vampire Chronicles series from Anne Rice, including the screenplay for Tales of the Body Thief from her out son, Christopher Rice. Maybe the whole vampire movie thing isn't played out yet.

Grindr is supporting PrEP through their Grindr for Equality initiative. "To date, Grindr has helped raise awareness surrounding numerous PrEP initiatives including studies and information sessions. Grindr is highly committed to promoting safe sex within the community and strongly encourages our users to engage in safe sex practices, get tested and know their HIV status.” If ever there was a target audience for a product, this would be it.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit deals with some very serious issues, but they have some one-liners that are hilarious when taken out of context. I personally liked the pickle one the best.

Is the world record holder for longest game of Pokemon actually a fish? And why are thousands of people watching a beta play Pokemon online?

Last year when I was reliving my youth and drinking a lot, I marveled at the fact I could be blackout drunk at 4am and awake on my own at 7am. It turns out that's normal as your body purges the alcohol from your system. But just because it's normal doesn't mean it's fair.

Can you handle how fabulous EJ Johnson's life is?

Landon Donovan, who didn't get picked for Team USA at the World Cup, has announced that this is his last year playing soccer. But who is going to organize boys' night for the team now?

Justin Jedlica, the Human Ken Doll who has had over 150 surgeries to alter his appearance says that while tons of professionals who have never met him have said he has a mental illness, he's simply expressing himself creatively. “I mean, I do understand the basic notion of body dysmorphic disorder and OCD. I think I have a very clear picture of what I look like. I’m not unhappy with the way that I look. If I choose to express my creativity through my plastic surgery, it’s no different than someone in fashion who deals with trends. Standards of beauty change, ideals of beauty change. I don’t understand why people think you have to be committed to the human form and that you shouldn’t be able to retain control to change it." He says that his wealthy husband pays for most of his surgeries.

Senator Rand Paul, a likely presidential candidate in 2016 has this week expressed support for a constitutional amendment banning marriage equality, but also seems to think his party is big enough to disagree internally on marriage equality. Unless you're in the South. Then you're just born a bigot. “The party can’t become the opposite of what it is. “If you tell people from Alabama, Mississippi or Georgia, ‘You know what, guys, we’ve been wrong, and we’re gonna be the pro-gay-marriage party,’ they’re either gonna stay home or — I mean, many of these people joined the Republican Party because of these social issues. So I don’t think we can completely flip. But can we become, to use the overused term, a bigger tent? I think we can and can agree to disagree on a lot of these issues. I think the party will evolve. It’ll either continue to lose, or it’ll become a bigger place where there’s a mixture of opinions.” I wonder how his cousin feels about that.

Driven by the scaremongering AIDS Healthcare Foundation, Los Angeles County passed a law mandating condom use in porn. Everyone said that would just drive studios underground or out of the county, not promote condom porn like AHF claimed. Guess who was right? Porn permits have dropped 90% since the law was passed. Has anybody noticed a 90% increase in the number of non-bareback movies available? Didn't think so. Driving it into the shadows didn't increase safety, it likely decreased it because of less oversight.

Rocky the Musical may have hit a TKO on Broadway, but the men are hot, and Out convinced James Brown III, Adrian Aguilar, Okieriete Onoadowan, and Adam Perry to do a NSFW photoshoot showing off the sexy bodies you get when you mix musical theater actors with boxing.

NYU is offering cheap sex therapy to the general public, and for absolutely free to their students. Youth often needs sex therapy as they come into adulthood. “They’re tormented by it. It does take a lot for them to get help because there’s so much shame involved in this.” The program is run by fourth year psychiatry students under the supervision of doctors, and has existed for 35 years, but the school is now aggressively marketing the program because it feels there's a need for it. Students pay a $50 evaluation fee and then treatment is free, while the public pays $50/session.

Evidently Tom Cruise is really, really hung. Or he stuffs his briefs. Anyhow, a new book says there's quite a bulge.

British retailer Bondara is showing off a cockring design that functions as an activity monitor. It functions like a tradition cockring of course, but also can measure thrusts/minute, vibrates at specified intervals for pleasure and rhythm keeping, and has five LEDs that light up when you hit a steady pace. It synchs all this to a smartphone app that logs the data, and even allows you to share it for social media.

I had read that Conan O'Brien had agreed to perform "The Monorail Song" at a live show for The Simpsons this fall, but I didn't realize that he'd be accompanied by the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles. It seems fitting as The Simpsons has always been very gay supportive.

My favorite cereal as a kid was FrankenBerry. A few years ago I got to try it again when Target released special editions of it along with Count Chocula and Booberry at Halloween. This year, General Mills is doing the same, but teamed up with DC Comics to update the look of the classic monster mascots. I'm fine with everything but Count Chocula, who looks a little too real.

Jeb Havens is a San Francisco music institution (and also Conner Habib's ex). He's always a joy to listen to, but his Closet Cover of one of my favorite songs, "Fast Car" is swoon-worthy. The Tracy Chapman version is so iconic most covers are difficult to listen to, but Jeb really makes it his own, and looks good while doing it. And the irony of being in the closet amuses me.

Kermit the Frog sits down with MTV to talk about animals in cinema, his audition for The Avengers and more. This has a real old-school Muppet feel to it that I really love.

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