Meme: Whoopi Doesn’t Care Who’s On “The View,” Keahu Kahuanui Talks Danny’s “Teen Wolf” Romance

Whoopi Goldberg

Whoopi Goldberg has no interest in who replaces Joy Behar or Elisabeth Hasslebeck on The View. “Let me tell you this about The View: I take a paycheck every other week. That’s all I do. I could give a sh-t what comes. I do my job — I have a contract. That’s where I stand. I don’t give a f-ck. I don’t care. That’s not my job. My job is to show up and be cute by 11 o’clock and get the f-ck off that show by 12. And that’s what I try to do. I think it’s the only way to keep your sanity because these are not decisions that I get to make. It ain’t my show. It’s Barbara’s show.”

Teachers who advocate or teach “gateway sexual activity” in Ohio schools could soon be disqualified from teaching sex ed and be subject to law suits from parents up to $5,000. Gateway Sexual Activity is defined as “any touching of an erogenous zone of another, including without limitation the thigh, genitals, buttock, pubic region, or, if the person is a female, a breast, for the purpose of sexually arousing or gratifying either person.” In other words, being a horny teenager.

Peter Rauhofer

Surprisingly, a Texas Senate panel has advanced a bill to repeal the state’s unconstitutional sodomy law.

Legendary club DJ Peter Rauhofer has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. I’ve heard Rauhofer spin on numerous occasions, and the man is a genius. My thoughts are with him and his loved ones.

An arrest has been made in the case of the ricin poison sent to a U.S. Senator and President Obama this week. Neither envelope made it out of the mail screening facility designed to catch this stuff.

Jeremy Irons

Jeremy Irons is talking to the BBC about his marriage equality comments, along with his views on smoking. Basically, he admits that he doesn’t really know anything about the subject and probably shouldn’t have opened his mouth in the first place. And yet he’s still talking.

President Obama held a press conference after the background checks for gun purchases failed in the Senate, and used harsh words seldom seen in Washington, like “willfully lied” to describe the NRA. ” All in all, this was a pretty shameful day for Washington.”

Justin Bieber

It appears that Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has now become Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for a working title. And it’s still going to wear out the period on my laptop if I have to cover it much.

Eva Schloss, Anne Frank’s childhood friend and eventual stepsister thinks we’re all making too much of Justin Bieber’s comments. “It’s so childish. She probably would have been a fan. Why not? He’s a young man and she was a young girl, and she liked film stars and music. They make a lot of fuss about everything that is connected with Anne Frank.”

If you recall Kmart’s hilarious ad from last week about “Ship My Pants,” it has One Million Moms up in arms, as expected. “This double entendre of the s-word is repeated over and over again. Normally, we do not provide a link since One Million Moms does not want to contribute to this filth being spread around even more, but we made an exception this time to show how ridiculous and disgusting this ad really is.”

Parker Young

It’s no secret that I have a massive crush on Suburgatory’s Parker Young. Now it appears he’s headed off to college in Florida (really to a pilot called Enlisted), and we may never see his abs in Chatswin again. Which is a shame, because the character has really grown since the beginning, and is something unique on television. “At the beginning, I didn’t know what the f*ck I was doing with this guy, and then I started to sink my teeth into who I thought Ryan was and stray from the dumb and dig deeper into his more endearing qualities. The more I fell in love with that side of him, I think the more real he became. I found what worked best with him is innocence. He’s always completely truthful and unfiltered and naïve and just … young. If it was an 8-year-old saying the stuff he does, it would be fine!”

Local favorite Eddie McClintock has a new movie coming out called A Fish Story, about a man headed up to finish building his fishing cabin, and dies swerving to avoid hitting a convict (Eddie), but can’t let go of his life on earth. In an act of generosity, the convict gives up his body to the ghost, but time is short as the sheriff is closing in. There’s a trailer here.

Jonathan Groff

Mark Sanford, the South Carolina governor who hiked the Appalachian Trail all the way to his mistress in South America, has lost the backing of the National Republican Party in his bid to become a U.S. Senator after his ex-wife filed charges of trespassing against him, making it likely that there will now be a Rep. Colbert (Busch).

Sundance darling C.O.G., based on a David Sedaris story, starring Jonathan Groff, Corey Stoll, Denis O’Hare, Casey Wilson, Troian Bellisario, and Dean Stockwell has been acquired for release by Screen Media.

This week on Glee, we’ll have a performance of “More Friends Than You Know” which was originally sung by the L.A. Gay Men’s Chorus in their It Gets Better Show. ” “We’re thrilled and honored that this song, which is about taking a stand, being strong and overcoming adversity by knowing that you’re loved, is part of our it gets better show and week-long residency program that tours the nation. Glee has been a champion for the underdog and the outcast, tackling tough issues including coming out and bullying. Having it showcased on Glee is an amazing honor.”

Congratulations to New Zealand on becoming the 13th country to vote for marriage equality. Ceremonies are expected to start in mid-August. If any Kiwis need a husband, I love your country.

Earvin Johnson III

Guys, have you ever faked an orgasm?

I haven’t watched Awkward yet, but evidently there was a death of a character that I was really excited to see explored this season, and I’m not happy about it.

E.J. Johnson, son of Magic Johnson, says he’s been surprised by the reaction to his public coming out, having been out to his family for five years. But he wants to use the spotlight for good. “I would love to become my own personality […]really be a voice for the generation. As well as the voice for young gay people who need someone to be on TV or wherever else to talk to them and talk about all kinds of issues that all of us face and not just homosexual issues but all kinds of issues […] I definitely want to set a really good example.”

Matty Jake Awkward

Matty and Jake from Awkward have a great bromance

Max Carver Charlie Carver Madelaine Hasson

Madelaine Hasson is living my dream – twins! And Max and Charlie Carver to boot

Nolan Funk Tyler Posey

Nolan Funk and Tyler Posey at the MTV Movie Awards

Tyler Posey

Tyler Posey records his growls for Teen Wolf. Yes, that’s the body that doesn’t go to the gym and eats nothing but pizza

Dan Feuerriegel Pana Hema Simon Merrells

Dan Feuerriegel, Pana Hema, and Simon Merrells at different stages of wardrobe on Spartacus War of the Damned

While the stars of Teen Wolf walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards, Entertainment Tonight stopped them to talk about the new season, and a particular focus was on Keahu Kahuanui (Danny) and Max and Charlie Carver, who play the new Alpha twins. Danny has lost his best friend with Jackson gone, and is trying to make some new connections, and one of them ends up in his bed. As Keahu says, Danny has had his heart broken a couple times, so he needs some love.

The first trailer is out for Black Sails, the new Michael Bay-produced pirate series for Starz. I admit, there aren’t a lot of explosions for a normal Michael Bay production, and the only same sex action I saw was with the ladies, but these are pretty hot pirates.

Speaking of new series, the pilot for Amazon’s Zombieland is available for viewing on Amazon Instant. The trailer, well, it doesn’t work for me. I found Zombieland to be a surprisingly enjoyable movie that had a lot of charm and humor, and I just don’t really get that vibe from this. The humor is forced, and I wasn’t immediately rooting for the characters.

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis have released the video for “Can’t Hold Us” Ft. Ray Dalton. I know I’ve said in the past that Macklemore just isn’t good music, and I’m still not convinced it is, but it really has a vibe to it that’s undeniable. I may not be proud of myself for enjoying it, but more and more I am. This is probably going to end up being the Song of the Summer.

Evidently the suits at CinemaCon went nuts for The Lone Ranger this week, but the new trailer doesn’t really excite me. It seems a little less racist that the first couple of trailers, but I don’t understand what they’re trying to do with the characters that we all know so well.

I have fond childhood memories of the Kool-Aid man crashing through walls on Saturday morning between cartoons. It’s just such an iconic image for me. The brand has brought him back, but the voice is just wrong.

The first trailer for R.I.P.D. is out, which has Ryan Reynolds die in the first few minutes, only to come back as an undead cop to protect the world from the evil undead. This is billed as an action comedy, and I have to admit, I laughed out loud when I found out the dead no longer look like they did when they were living.

When New Zealand was debating marriage equality, MP Maurice Williamson stood up and gave what may be the greatest speech by a politician on the subject in the history of the world. It was funny, heartfelt, and ultimately effective. Somebody really should send him a cookie bouquet.

Opinionated. You'll love to hate me