Morning Meme: Reese Witherspoon Is “The Beard,” Matthew Mitcham Makes a Promise, and Karl Urban Gets Sexy In “The Loft”

For those of us of a certain age, we have fond memories of a certain cat-eating alien named Alf Alf(my backstory?) Now a big screen version of the lovable sitcom is in development, but rather than a puppet, it will be CGI/live action. Is anyone else excited?

Did you ever wonder why the penis is shaped like that? Now you can know. Note: it’s a video answer on autoplay when you click the link.

Pity the kids in Louisiana who choose a private school with this laughable curriculum based on Biblical teachings, like the fact that humans and dinosaurs lived on the earth together, or that dinosaurs were really fire breathing dragons. I wish I was kidding.

The ACLU is already saying that the new federal law restricting demonstrations at military funerals may violate the First Amendment.

Donald FaisonDonald Faison is in talks to play Dr. Gravity in Kick Ass 2, fighting alongside Kick Ass. I wonder if their bromance can rival Turk and J.D.?

SyFy is heading back to space (finally) with a new project called Clandestine, about a group of mercenaries that hide in an intergalactic fleet.

Proof that cats are not only evil robots, but are actually made from spare parts.

Hate group leader Bryan Fischer is still defending remarks that Christians should form an “underground railroad” to steal children from gay parents.

HarperCollins is sticking with a plan to offer Berenstein Bears books in Chick-Fil-A kids meals, framing it as a free speech issue. “As a publisher, HarperCollins is committed to the freedom of speech. We have a long history of diversity and inclusiveness, and work tirelessly to protect the freedom of expression for all of our authors. It is not our practice to cancel a contract with an author, or any other party, for exercising their first amendment rights.”

Scandal in the Olympic Village as non-Durex condoms are put out for the athletes. The 150,000 Durex supplied wasn’t enough?

Bruno Gunn has been cast as Brutus in Catching Fire.Bruno Gunn

Madonna is set to hand out pink wristbands at her St. Petersburg concert in support of gay rights. They’re said to play into the show she has planned, which would be in defiance of the ban on the promotion of homosexuality in the city.

A new survey says that just over 7% of men who watched bareback porn were led to have unprotected sex by watching it. What was more shocking to me was that 25% of respondents had videotaped themselves having sex, and half of them had uploaded it to the internet.

A law signed by downer Gov. Tim Pawlenty restricted people from drinking until 8 AM on their 21st birthday so they didn’t rush out to binge right when they turned legal.

Jon Favreau says that he’s directing the big screen adaptation of Jersey Boys. How does one work fight scenes into that?

If you thought Ryan Lochte was going away after the Olympics, you were wrong. He’s been offered two different reality shows, new endorsements every day, and an offer to start the fashion line he’s always wanted.

Rob HalfordCrystal the Monkey has been everywhere lately. The star of The Hangover 2 and upcoming Animal Practice is making bank for it too – she nets $12,000/episode for the sitcom.

Out Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford is a fan of the debate around Chick-Fil-A. “What you’re seeing here are the elements of the American Constitution in all of their glory. It’s a wonderful thing to see happening and talk about and the fact that everyone is discussing the gay rights issue is great.”

Reese Witherspoon is set to star in the romantic comedy The Beard, about a woman cavorting with a gay man. I honestly think I could die of old age without this movie being made and not feel like I missed anything.

 Suburgatory’s Parker Young discovers the downside of a fresh lobster dinner

 I want Matthew Mitcham to know I consider this a binding contract


 Hillary Clinton has more fun running the world than anyone in history

 Travis Wall with his new Proposition Love necklace

 I encourage kids to experiement with science, but only under supervision

 Gareth Thomas prepares for his Panto premiere in Aladdin. Can I rub the genie instead of the lamp?

 The time since GCB was canceled has not been kind to Mark Deklin

 Interview Magazine took top models like River Viiperi and photographed them Grindr-style for an underwear shoot


The Loft is a movie about five guys who share a loft for their extra-marital affairs. Starring Karl Urban, Eric Stonestreet, Rhona Mitra, and James Marsden, everything is going great (and sexy) until a woman is found murdered in the loft. How do men share a loft for sex? Who is responsible for scheduling? Who puts clean sheets on the bed? I’m confused byt straight men. This one is NSFW folks, but makes an excellent case for Karl on next year’s Hot 100.


It’s not quite Friday, so to get you over the day after the hump, here are some Golden Retriever puppies to make your day nicer.


Keep those puppies in mind as these admittedly hot guys get shot with 21,000 paint balls to draw attention to child poverty. Yeah, it seemed weird, but there is a narrative to it, and shirtless bruise comparison at the end.


Just when I thought we were done with anything to do with “Call Me Maybe” comes this Batman Maybe comedy piece. I think they did pretty well on finding someone who looks like Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play John Blake, and it was pretty original.


Conan O’Brien draws attention to the brutal trial between Samsung and Apple over Samsung allegedly copying the design for the iPhone and the iPad. You think it’s over the top, but this is pretty much how the trial seems to be going.


The “This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs” has reigned as the king of weird anti-drug commercials for decades, but they may have topped themselves with “Driveway.”


Here are the first two minutes of MTV’s The Inbetweeners. I may be judging this too harshly, but this feels like a disaster, and I haven’t even seen the original series.


Southern Comfort thinks you should go through life in Whatever’s Comfortable. I would argue that I’ve never found a Speedo comfortable, physically or mentally, but this guy seems pretty content.


Old Navy has a couple of back to school ads featuring the cast of Beverly Hills, 90210. In this one, Jenny Garth still can’t choose between Brandon and Dylan. Me, I was always Team Brandon. He looked like a good cuddler.


And now a lesson in friendship and team work with Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. Tell me that this doesn’t make your heart swell just a little. I dare you.


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