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New UK Software Ad Features Man-On-Man Teat Suckling

A new TV spot in the UK features a burly, shirtless gladiator crashing through a car dealership to scoop up a bumbling salesman and have him suckle on one of his nipples in order to receive enlightenment.

Yes, you read that right!

The commercial, from a London based agency called AMV BBDO, promotes Thunderhead–a software that helps admen personalize relations with the client they're working with, whether it be in person, on the phone or online.

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Gladiator-Daddy, whose Grindr tribe would definitely be "Leather," represents the software, letting the salesman who's failing to understand the woman he's selling a car to, suck from the literal teat of knowledge.

"Tony," Gladiator-Daddy says as Tony suckles away, "Her name's Jane Walker, she likes convertibles; let me tell you her favorite color: it's blue!"

Gladiator-Daddy then gives us a tribal dance, showing his rippling muscles and Hoover Dam-sized shoulders (which we'd be happy to perch up on).

Tony returns, post-suckle, a better salesman, albeit somewhat frazzled–understandably so.

He successfully sells Jane Walker a turbo convertible, midnight blue finish with 19 inch wheels and black leather interior, just as Daddy suggested.

A proud Gladiator Daddy watches through the window, before walking off into the horizon to let some more fools suck away.

We need more man-on-man nipple suckling commercials in the states. Am I right? Or am I right?

Watch the ad below.

h/t: Ad Week

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