As promised, Butt-Con, the NYC convention “where like-behinded individuals gather to educate, celebrate and gyrate everyone’s greatest ass-et,” was bottom-heavy.

Held earlier this week in a Chelsea loft, Butt-Con's fanny-focused festivities included a “belfie” wall (for butt selfies, obvs), a twerking class, and lots of shit-talking. Cocktails included the "Deadly but Silent" and the "Vlad Pootin." Songs like "Shake Ya Ass" and many Nicki Minaj hits played at club-ready volumes as more than 300 attendees (tickets were only $12-15) shuffled between various rooms, including the Holey Cathedral, a place for regular selfies. Panelists sat on toilets to discuss everything from “How to Have the Perfect Poop” to “Anal Like a Porn Star.” Everywhere you turned, people were wearing T-shirts that read “Ask me about my butthole.”

The one-night-only inaugural event was presented by Tushy, an attachable bidet company founded by “She-E.O.” Miki Agrawal, who published a book in January called Disrupt-Her: A Manifesto for the Modern Woman. Agrawal disrupted the underwear industry in 2014 when she co-founded Thinx, a period-proof panties company. Through Butt-Con, she aims to disrupt butts—or at least stigmas surrounding butts and, by extension, bidets. Like Agrawal’s other brand activations—Tushy teamed up with Poo-Pourri in May to create a “poop-up” experience featuring a toilet-shaped ball pit—Butt-Con had all the makings of a viral marketing stunt.

But amidst the conference’s thinly veiled advertising, which naturally culminated in a cake-sitting performance, there were some enlightening nuggets. Here are six tush-related takeaways:

When douching, less is more.

“You can actually over-douche,” said anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein on a panel titled “The Innerworkings of Butt Sex.” “And when you're using water or a shower hose or even an enema you get at the store, it actually takes away the lining internally. When you look at it, especially in the gay world, STD risk and HIV risk is so elevated because of it.” He started seeing enough patients with anal douching injuries that he started a company to address the issue: Future Method, a scientifically developed isotonic solution for anal douching that comes in disposable packs. But you might not even need it. “Less is actually more,” Goldstein added. “A great physician taught me: If we're actually going to have anal sex with 10 random people on the street, maybe nine would be completely clean, without doing anything.”

Bidets may save your ass—and the world.

Turns out bidets are more than just fancy French toilets that make your butt tickle. They are more hygienic than toilet paper, which, according to Dr. Goldstein, can cause anal fissures from improper wiping—too hard or too much—particularly after sex. They are also good for the environment; an estimated 15 million trees could be saved annually if Americans switched to bidets. Then again, Butt-Con was essentially a five-hour advertisement for a bidet company, so take this with a grain of salt.

Shit happens.

As much as Butt-Con extolled the virtues of cleanliness supplements and boutique douching, the bottom line is that shit happens. “I think the hardest part about anal sex is the fear and the anxiety that you're going to be messy, a.k.a. that you're just going to shit all over them,” said porn star Asa Akira. How do you deal with it? As Layla Martin, founder of the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality, put it: "The best thing that my first boyfriend who I had anal sex ever did for me was say, ‘Look, if there's shit on my penis, there's shit on my penis. It's not the fucking end of the world. I see it every day.’ And I was like, Oh, I can relax. Sometimes people make it into this huge deal. You take a shower. Problem solved."

Wiping is old news.

In a room labeled "A Brief History of Butt Cleaning," historical objects used for pre-toilet paper butt-wiping were displayed as if at an art museum. These included oyster shells, pottery shards, corn husks (“poop-corn, anyone?”), and a sea sponge attached to a stick.

Butt-tox is a thing.

Botox is not just for your face. “I do do a lot work with Botox in some of those muscles, and in the skin lines, so that you're able to fully, fully relax,” said Dr. Goldstein. “Some partners are really big or if you want to go into big toys or fists and the skin or the muscle just can't really get to that capacity... the modern marvels of Botox can actually get you where you need to go. And no, you won't shit on Fifth Avenue.” But he cautions against Botox for smoothing ass wrinkles. “The wrinkles are there for a reason. And the problem is if the wrinkles are gone, it can actually tear.”

Be happy with your hole.

Sure, as celebrity trainer Jorge Cruise exemplified on stage, there are certain exercises you can do—mostly squats—to achieve a desired ass-thetic. But more important is cultivating a healthy relationship with your rear. “I think the key component [to an optimized ass] is how does it resonate with your own identity and how does it hold you back from achieving what you want,” said Dr. Goldstein. “Do a belfie, do an asshole selfie, see what it looks like." Not that its looks necessarily matter. "I have seen people with the nastiest holes in the world, and they love it. They're like, ‘my husband or my partner eats it and bites it and wants it all the time.’"