Patti LaBelle Reads Aretha, Shades NPH And Teaches “Diva 101”

Patti LaBelle Joins The Cast Of "After Midnight" As A Special Guest Star

New York Magazine caught up with soul diva number 1 (or 2 if you ask the Queen of Soul), Miss Patti LaBelle after her earth-shattering turn in Broadway’s After Midnight. In the profile — which you should study and learn beginning to end — LaBelle just goes about diva-ing her way around town as she is wont to do. Let’s see: we’ve got wigs for days, hot flashes, stripper poles, diamonds on diamonds on diamonds and of course some legendary shade.

Remember that time Aretha Franklin tried to sue a fake news site for a slanderous story involving Patti chin-checking her after an altercation at the White House? While Franklin was trying to laugh all the way to the bank, LaBelle couldn’t find the toilet to give a shit.

“I didn’t even address that because it was so stupid,” LaBelle said. “What would I look like, taking my wig off in the street fighting?”

I don’t know, Patsy-gurl, but I’d venture about the same as you’d look throwing a bottle of water at an infant? Which is still the best thing that ever happened, btw.

Miss Patti also has some very definite opinions on other divas young and old — below, some choice quotes from Ms. LaBelle’s New York Mag profile:

On Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin: “She’s the queen of the world, as far as music, to me.”

On archenemy Aretha Franklin: “Tell Aretha I’ll be praying for her…Because she needs Jesus!…I love her.”

On Fantasia Barrino: “She’s the mini-me!…she kicks her shoes off a little too soon. In my show, I wait until the seventh song.”

On Ariana Grande: “Oh, that girl is a little black girl in white skin! That little hussy! She sings like an old woman!”

On Neil Patrick Harris as Hedwig: “When the Inch came on, I said, ‘Gladys [Knight], that better have been a man, right?’ She said, ‘Patti, no you didn’t!’ I didn’t ­realize it was a boy. I thought it was an ugly woman!”

And to remind you how amazing Patti LaBelle is (because it bears repeating) here she is with Gladys Knight, Fantasia and the cast of After Midnight (with Hugh Jackman) from the Tony’s:

[gdm_video source=”youtube” video_id=”zpAhZ7vhNlg” url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpAhZ7vhNlg”]

Lester Fabian Brathwaite is an LA-based writer, editor, bon vivant, and all-around sassbag. He's formerly Senior Editor of Out Magazine and is currently hungry. Insta: @lefabrat