The Quotable Paul Lynde
Thanks to Andrew Sullivan for posting these. I thought they were hilarious enough to reprint them here. It's amazing, isn't it, the subversive and suggestive wit that Paul Lynde was able to get away with on the Hollywood Squares back in the seventies.....
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.