“Penis Flower” Pillows Cause Conservative Snowflakes To Clutch Their Pearls

On the other hand, they really tie the room together.

Agreeing on decor is one of the biggest hurdles to living together, but sometimes compromises come in odd forms: Take this “floral penis” throw pillow from Look Human.

At first glance, it looks like an innocuous cushion you might find in your great aunt’s living room. But closer inspection reveals a naughty secret to the pattern.

City of Preston Facebook

“Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your couch?” reads the caption. “Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!”

Look Human

Made from 100% recycled polyester, the pillows are so discreet, that some people are buying them without realizing what they’ve gotten their hands on: In April, a redditor revealed his mother had bought the throw pillows without noticing their prurient design.

Last month a community Facebook page for the town of Preston in Lancashire, England, reported the pillows made their way to the shelves of a popular superstore, the Range.

“[The store] has agreed to remove cushions from their stores as trading standards marked them as offensive,” a poster related. “They had been selling them for the last two months before someone complained about the pattern.”

If a phallic pillow is a bit much for you, Look Human also offers the design on phone cases, socks, bedspreads, tote bags and even coffee mugs.

Editor in Chief of NewNowNext. Comic book enthusiast. Bounder and cad.
@ItsDanAvery