Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey Wants You To Stop Slut Shaming And Explore Your Inner Freak
In a new video posted to YouTube, Psychotherapist Matthew – no relation to Patrick other then the mutual hunk factor – speaks directly to gay men who have been on the receiving end of slut shaming (people degrading or mocking someone because they enjoy having sex).
"I wanted to make the video about slut shaming because I really wanted the chance for my mom to hear me publicly speak about my love of bathhouses and then ask what they are this past Thanksgiving weekend," Dempsey tells us with a laugh. "No, I actually just wanted to have a real conversation about how we as gay man can find ourselves bristle up against each other in a judgmental and divisive way related to sex. Homophobia messes with our lives in ways we don't realize sometimes even after coming out. I wanted to put a spotlight on some of those issues so we can have better sex and also be more compassionate and connected with each other as a community."
It should come as no shock that gay men can be a little judgmental, but with increased access to snap after snap of gorgeous men (thank you Instagram; thank you Grindr), what are we to do to combat those feelings of jealousy and envy?
"Be selective about who you follow on Instagram," Dempsey recommends. "If you're constantly scrolling through a string of sexy hot bodies, it may be delicious eye candy but it's going to reinforce that that's what matters and make you question your worth about shit that's not reflective of what actually makes you lovable."
Clinical psychologist Alan Downs seminal book The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay touches on similar themes, addressing feelings of judgment and envy as a byproduct of growing up in a straight world.
His book addresses the "internalization of shame, rejection, and anger – a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide." Check out his book for more information on the subject.
But in the meantime...
Watch Dempsey's video to below to learn more about combating the stigma against sex positivity.
