“Revenge” Episode 206: I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do


After some shaky episodes, Emily seems to be back to her deliciously scheming ways. All we need now is the return of our old pal Red Sharpie.

It’s the big day, as all of The Hamptons are looking forward to the re-union of Victoria and Conrad. Daniel and his dad are being fitted for tuxes when Aiden interrupts to tell Conrad that his vetting of the company will be done soon. He looks at the dour father and son and asks, ’Are congratulations or condolences in order?” Daniel replies, “both.” Conrad invites Aiden to attend, and by all means “bring a date.”

Meanwhile, Emily is trying to help Amanda memorize the details of her scar removal for the next time Mason inquires about it. But Emily has a plan for Mason that will hopefully turn his attention away from his suspicions about Amanda and back to the Graysons. And all it involves is taking The White-Haired Gordon off ice. Literally. Apparently, Emily has been storing his frozen corpse in the freezer of the Hampton’s Dairy Queen, next to the Dilly Bars.

Victoria is in the middle of her morning mirror contemplation ritual, when she picks up that Herb Ritts photo from the prison, which shows David deep in thought (cherry cobbler or pudding?), while The WTG looks on.

As Victoria folds the pic so only David can be seen, Kara flutters in. Every time I see her distractedly wandering the mansion, I think maybe she’s found Charlotte’s secret stash. Then I remember, no …. it’s Jennifer Jason Leigh. She samples Victoria’s toilet water while pressing her for info on the WTG. Victoria tells her he subjected her to daily torture, and she knows he has “nothing but evil in his heart.” Kara has a gauzy flashback to the WTG stroking her with a yellow daisy … or it may just be the Ambien.

The preparations continue without a hitch. Well, except that Charlotte has decided not to attend, and Conrad can’t find one of his cuff links. The special engraved cuff link that Victoria gave him on their first wedding day, which he holds up so the camera can see in full view. Hmm … that was odd.

Amanda manages to convince Mason that she actually did have the scar removed, and she plants Emily’s seed of doubt about Victoria’s kidnapping, and insinuates that Conrad knew The WTG before the abduction took place. She may even have a phone number that could, who knows, be traced or something. Mason falls for it, which I had a little trouble swallowing.

Emily heads over to Nolan’s office to warn him against attending the wedding, having seen on hidden cam that Daniel and Ashley have invited him to try to get more information on David’s financial contribution. Nolan is going, though, and he’s bringing Padma, because he wants to get to the bottom of why she was snooping around NolCorp’s beginnings.

Before Emily leaves, Nolan receives a call from Mason, who wants him to trace a phone number. Emily’s plan is proceeding right on cue.

Mason gets an address from the traced number, and arrives at a seedy trailer, where he finds the dead body of The WTG, and upon further investigation, finds … a certain cuff link.

The wedding commences, with Victoria wearing a fabulous Vera Wang the color of a dust bunny, while Conrad presents her with a wedding gift … a shiny new gun. If he can’t protect her, he wants her to be able to protect herself. Is he new? Victoria has been adept at self-sufficiency

As the reception gets underway, the cops show up at Grayson Manor to look for evidence implicating Conrad, and they find it, including the smoking gun … a smoking gun.

Nolan calls Padma on her meddling, and she apologizes profusely, but he cryptically asks how far she’s willing to go to prove it.

During the calm before the storm, Daniel asks Emily to dance, and he wonders if it could’ve been them getting married. Maybe his pride took over that night, and does she ever wonder “what if?” She says, “It’s never too late to change course,” and Daniel more or less admits that he’s till carrying a torch for her. Unfortunately, the mood is broken by the FBI, who have come to arrest Conrad for the murder of The WTG.

As Conrad is carted away, Nolan congratulates Emily on getting back to the Grayson revenge business, but reminds her that she still has to worry about Mason. Emily smirks and tells him all in due time. This is the Emily I’ve been missing this season. The confident, brazen, and single-minded bad-ass. Welcome back (if only briefly).

Conrad is in a holding cell, and blaming Victoria. She says he sealed his own fate when he got involved with The Initiative. Later, he gets a visit from one of the higher-ups in The Initiative, who can get him out of this … for a price. That night, Victoria is sound asleep when she hears a rustling in her room. Naturally, she pulls her brand new gun from under the pillow and points it at the stranger in the room. Oh wait, It’s just Conrad. He’s been released on bail, thanks to The Initiative. “What did you promise them?” Victoria asks. “I don’t think I’ll know until it’s too late,” he responds.

In an intriguing moment, Aiden and Emily are viewing footage of Daniel and Ashley, and Aiden asks what she knows about her. “Ashley? I met her six years ago. She was an easy mark.” Aiden asks, “Are you sure about that?”

But the most intriguing moment occurs when Mason tells Victoria that he’s ready to bring her down if he doesn’t get what he wants, and she lets slip that Emily was a juvie girl turned good. This sets Mason’s wheels in motion, and in the last scene we see him with his own Revenge Board, chartered out with red yarn instead of a red Sharpie, in which he’s tried to put all of the pieces together. With this new info about Emily, it’s finally starting to make sense. Has he figured out the truth?

Oh yeah, and Declan has reconciled with Charlotte. Meanwhile, Teen Wolf Dad continues to insert himself into the running of The Stowaway, and Jack, for some reason, is being a bit dense about the whole thing. But he is preoccupied, what with talking with Kara, who makes him promise to take care of Amanda, prompting Jack to propose.

Well, he did get a hot new haircut, so maybe the chemicals seeped into his brain.

Well, this episode brought back a little of what made Season One such a hoot. Emily was back to conniving, and there was little of the weepy wishy-washy girl we’ve seen this season. This Padma business better go somewhere soon (right now, I’d settle for her ramming her head into a post, Tyler style), but the Mason story is till the juiciest right now, as he comes tantalizingly close to figuring everything out.

What did you think?

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.