‘RuPaul’s Drag U’: Pandora Boxx Ru-cap

Destiny del Ray doing her thing.

Another week passes and that means Drag U classes are back in session.  This week the professors are dragifying real life heroes.  Or she-roes.  Well she-roes who look like zeros but they are admirable women who make the world a better place for us.  These bitches need to be fiercafied!

We meet our less than feminine ladies, Christine, a retired Marine sergeant, Virginia, a firefighter trainee and Bernadette, a police sergeant.  These ladies are all working it in heavy testosterone areas, so it’s no wonder they walk and dress like dudes.  Virginia even shops in the men’s department.   The fawl-culty of Drag U has their work cut out for them.

This week’s professors enter the drag lab and we are treated to Raven in some bathing suit couture (Bitch loves a bathing suit!), Raja working the Gay Pride Parade School Teacher look and Shannel giving us Debbie Reynolds in Solid Gold: 2012.

So Virginia thinks her kids aren’t proud of her, Bernadette lost her wife Mona and Christine can’t get a date.  We’ve got some sad stories for these ladies but Drag U is here to help them overcome their biggest obstacle: themselves.

Get those ladies into some Quick Drag!  Favorite lines: “I look like Anthony Perkins in Psycho.”  (Yes.  Yes you actually do Bernadette.) And: “Shannel can kiss my padded ass.”  That’s so Raven.

The ladies’ Quick Drag looks have them looking like rejects from a community theater audition for Mamma Mia so let’s Dragulate these gals already!

Christine is Belle Supreme!  Giving us some rocker chick glamour!

Virginia is Empress Dupree!  Serving us Miss Fourth of July!

Bernadette is Destiny Del Ray!  Eating up her photo with some rock star realness!

Fun names, and the name Empress Dupree makes me think of Downton Abbey for some reason.  Love that show.  Oh, and now it’s time for a Lady Lesson!

Lady Bunny looking gorgeous as she opens her legs, I mean Drag U handbook and out pops a man.  Insert penis joke here.   Rami Kashou appears to teach these gals how to walk in heels and boy do they need it.   It’s like watching toddlers learning to walk for the first time or that drunk chick I saw at the airport the other day.

Lady Bunion talks about open camel toes and her orifice.  I’ll just say, give Lady Bunny more to do on the show!  Her Lady Lessons have been cut back and they were so much fun last season.

Now we get a glimpse of the students off duty outfits.  Woof woof.  Sweet peppery Jesus ladies!  You don’t have to wear a sequin gown every day but at least wear something better than Meth Addict Chic.  Everyone gets so caught up in trying something new.  Like honestly, what have you got to lose?  Wear it!  You only live once.  Live it up ladies!

Let’s prance to dance with Phlex.  He’s teaching these ladies of the Rhythmless Nation to shake a tail feather to “She Works Hard For the Money” by the late great Donna Summer (RIP).  And she do work hard for it hunty.  Oh girls it looks like you are reenacting the “Putting on the Ritz” Frankenstein dance from Young Frankenstein.  Awkward!

After they sweat their Cooters off, it’s time to get personal with some one-on-ones with RuPaul, or RuPrah in this segment.  Bernadette is still almost crippled over the lost of her dear Mona.  Now I can’t even imagine if I was in her place.  I would be devastated to lose my partner.  But you have to let go or you will ruin your own life and that’s not what they would want.  Honor those who leave us but don’t dwell.  You honor them less if you do.  This is really a huge release for Bernadette.  Clearly, she needed to let this all out.

Virginia thinks her kids are embarrassed by her.  This makes me sad. We need much more open communications in our families.  No mom should ever be made to feel this way but sadly they do, a lot.  Kids don’t always think of their parents’ feelings.  Teenage girls can be so mean too!  Shall we watch Mean Girls?  It’s a comedy but the basis of it is completely real.

Christine has her own emotional baggage with dating and wanting her kids to be proud.  Though with Christine you can see that Drag U has already seeped into her pores and she’s feeling a little bit of the loveliness!

It’s all about letting go.  Let go of what’s holding you back and you can proudly prance forward.

It’s time for Draguation, bitches!

Shannel better work that hat!  And can I say, we didn’t really see too much of our drag professors this episode.  Sadness.  This week’s guest judge is Brittany Snow looking adorable and a tad lost.

And to wrap it all up, Belle Supreme looked phenomenal.   Empress Dupree looked fierce and gave me some redhead Michelle Visage realness.  Destiny Del Ray was beautifully summed up by her daughter: Holy Shit!  Amazing transformation!  All the ladies looked fierce but all could have used some more time in Heels 101.   The group number?  Awkwardly wonderful!  These ladies have never done anything like this before and they don’t have a lot of time to prepare so A++ for effort!  Destiny Del Ray giving us her best Chita Rivera’s long lost cousin, twice-removed wins it all!  Yes, honey and this one was for Mona.

Until next week, catch my Boxx on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and probably Uranus.