‘RuPaul’s Drag U’: Pandora Boxx Ru-cap

Latrice!


I’m back!  I just couldn’t stop Ru-capping.  In fact,  I started Ru-capping everything like from Awards shows to airports travelers.  All right so some of it I just did in my head but like they say once you Ru-cap… oh wait I guess there isn’t a saying for that.  I Rupologize.  Whether you enjoyed my Ru-caps of RuPaul’s Drag Race or you are first time reader, I hope you enjoy the ride.  It’s all in good fun.

Our first glimpse back on the Drag U campus, we notice that some new professors have joined the school.  Some of the new professors this semester are: Alexis Mateo, Chad Michaels, Delta Work, my fellow Miss Congeniality Latrice Royale, season three winner Raja, the reigning queen Sharon Needles and the infamous Willam.  Escandalo!  See you can even break rules on a reality show and get on another show!  Oh reality TV, you fickle bitch.  We believe in second chances at Drag U, especially when you are one funny ladydude.

This week’s students are the Real Divorcees of LA County and they need Drag U to get them out of their dateless lives.  Hilary, lost over 100 pounds and then her husband left her for a “fat chick.”  Guess he’s a chubby chaser.  Faith is angry, y’all.  Angry because she put her life on the backburner for a man, who is now her ex-husband.  Never put your life on hold for someone else.  Shana married a porn addict.  She came home to find him trolling on the internet.  Shameless.   These ladies need a serious dose of self-esteem and a healthy coating of glitter.

Along with some self-esteem the top draguate will receive a $1000 gift certificate from Overstock.com, fabulous makeup from Cinema Secrets and a cash prize of $3166.  I don’t get that amount either but it sure do make me giggle.

This week’s drag professors are Manila Luzon, dressed like a McDonald’s Superhero on her way to aerobics class, the always gorgeous Jujubee, trussed up for the drag version of Desperate Housewives and Latrice Royale who is giving me Chaka Zulu Kahn.

The queens get to know their ladies a bit and Latrice says Faith’s “daytime drag” make it look like she’s “going to the grocery store to pick up some luncheon meat and some chicken.”  This just tickled me.

New segment!  Quick drag!  The queens and the ladies must get a quick drag look together lickety-split.  Shall we talk about the quick drag looks?  Hilary looks fabulous in her B-52’s reunion concert outfit.  Faith is giving me one of the Wayans Brothers in drag.  Oh Shana.  Shana is working the drunk, white girl in Vegas look, except she’s not walking barefoot on a dirty sidewalk.

Let the Dragulator commence:

Hilary is Tatiana D’More!

Faith is Elantra Sizzle!

Shana is Callie Tropicale!

Ok, so none of these drag names are giving me life or even a chuckle but I am LOVING the Dragulator looks.   Wait, Shana’s already crying and this is just the beginning.

It’s time for the students to have their Lady Lesson by the one and only Lady Bunny or Lady Bunion as we affectionately call her, minus the affection part.  Hey!  Did a hot guy just jump out of a pink book?  Only on Drag U.  It’s the gayest show on Earth.  And yes Hilary, Anton is like candy.  Break me off a piece of that.  Oh, Anton Khachaturian!  I’d like my tongue to get twisted around more than his last name.  Clearly randy Hilary is thinking the same thing.  Hilary, you trollop! I love it!

Bunion says that when she bats her eyelashes like this, she puts men in a trance.  Latrice says, “Girl they not in a trance, they asleep.”  Amen.  But then again that’s how she likes them so she can take some cash out of their wallets before they wake up.  I jest!  I wish the Lady Lesson had more Lady Bunny in it!

My favorite new addition to last season was “A Word From RuPaul” and I love that it’s still part of the show.  To me though, it’s funnier when it’s just a word with no explanation.  It’s still fun though.  Have you used Dragnificent in a sentence yet?  You really should.

Ok so there’s some product placement, or the everyday drag segment.  After that it’s on to dance class with this week’s Dean of Dance Phlex.  Sexy!  The ladies will be shaking their groove thangs to “I Will Survive.”  It is the perfect anthem for a group of jilted ladies.

Commercial break and then we are back with only twelve hours before Draguation.  Hilary is frustrated with not being able to get the dance moves right, Manila has a pink Cadillac stapled to her head and Juju may have a wonky eye.  Oh, the shade of it all.

All the biological women get their one on one with RuPrah who dishes out some pearls of wisdom.  This is really the heart of the show.  It’s getting these women to see what it is that is holding them back which almost always is themselves.  Oh yeah, and this is the part where they cry.  It’s tears, tears and more tears.  There’s nothing like crying on reality TV to change your life.

It’s Draguation time, bitches!

Donna Mills is this week’s guest judge and she is looking absolutely fabulous!

Let’s get to our Draguates.  Tatiana D’More worked it!  She looked fabulous and kind of gave me a long lost Sugarbaker cousin.  Elantra Sizzle was a total yes honey!  Serving up a little Grace Jones meets Carmen Miranda.  Finally, it’s Callie Tropicale.  She’s like Elle Woods dressed up as Tropical Barbie.  Callie also was living the group number.  They all did a great job but she just was in the moment, even if she lost her banana.

Callie Tropicale draguates with top honors but all these ladies should be proud of a job well done.  Condragulations ladies!

What did you all think of the premiere episode of RuPaul’s Drag U?  Do you like the changes?  What’s your favorite part of Drag U?

To catch up on all thing Pandora make sure you go to my website, www.pandoraboxx.com or my Faceboook, and tweet me something funny @ThePandoraBoxx.