Hey girl
As a horny singleton, I spend maybe a teensy weensy bit of time each day fantasizing about my next boyfriend. You could even say I’m a bit of an expert on how celebrities would behave as my boyfriend, since I’ve mentally put each and every one of them through the entire arc of a relationship with me. And I’ve given special attention to one popular Canadian gentleman in particular: Mr. Ryan Gosling. Through a combination of research and creative imagination, I’ve figured out exactly what a relationship with Ryan would be like. Check it out, and let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree!
1.) He’d be awesome on a road trip.
Evidence: Drive
Let’s say you want to go on a romantic trip with Ryan to celebrate his birthday (November 12, FYI). Why use his gobs of money to fly to Turks and Caicos when you can buy a kickass, souped-up vintage vehicle for a cross-country road trip and use it as a getaway car from any baddies you might encounter on your journey? And imagine the potential for vehicular sex!
2.) He’d sing you love songs.
Evidence: Blue Valentine; his band, Dead Man’s Bones
Because he is a perfect hipster dream god, Ryan can sing and play ukelele. He’s also in a two-man band called Dead Man’s Bones that recorded a 2009 self-titled debut in collaboration with the Silverlake Conservatory Children’s Choir. They toured around the country and performed with local children’s choirs. (I know. I know.)
3.) He’d be great with your nieces and nephews.
Evidence: He recorded an album with a freakin’ children’s choir.
‘Nuff said.
4.) He’d make you dinner.
Evidence: co-owner of Moroccan restaurant Tagine
Crave amazing lentil soup, sugary mint tea, or anything involving chickpeas? Ryan can make that happen for you. If he doesn’t cook it himself, he can always order in from the Beverly Hills joint he co-owns. And that’s almost as good as home cooking, right? The phrase “om nom nom” was designed for moments like this.
5.) He’d make out with you in the rain.
Evidence: The Notebook.
;alkdjsf;alkdlkjvn ‘opiwjefv’cdpm ‘pwefmdcjosmfejacd. Sorry, those were my fingers having a spasm while thinking of actually making out with Ryan Gosling in the rain. The man can even rock the drowned rat look with class and savoir faire. Also, wet clothes = he needs to take off his shirt when you run inside for shelter = awesome.
