
Poseidon look at me!
Move over, Matt Lauer, there’s a new Olympic commentator in town. (We’d say move over Ryan Seacrest but that would require taking him seriously.)
Just when we were starting to get bored with the Olympics — or at least anything NOT involving Gabby Douglas — Francis Higgins swoops in with his absolutely hysterical NSFW commentary on the Women’s Laser Radial competition. Hint: that means sailing.
Francis knows next to nothing about sailing, which only enhances his commentary. “It’s looking very close and confusing,” he says at the start of the video. The Irishman makes sexual jokes, insults multiple spectators, calls Belarus out for its “questionable” human rights, and yells “Some madman is going the wrong way completely!”
But the real kicker comes at the 3:12 mark. We won’t spoil it for you because we know you are going to totally take our word for it and watch the entire thing. You won’t regret it … although you may want to turn the volume down if you are at work or in front of your grandmother.
Somebody give this man a gold medal.
Boats from Francis Higgins on Vimeo.












