“Shear Genius” (2.09) recaplet: Twin Peeks

It’s the next-to-last episode of Shear Genius, and the four stylists left (out guys Charlie and Daniel, out lesbian Dee, and straight sprite Nicole) have to contend with the most terrifying challenge yet: identical twins.

I have a confession to make … identical twins creep me out. I think it’s because when I was nine, I watched a double feature of The Other and Sisters, and became convinced that my separated identical Siamese twin was purposely trying to get me in trouble.

At first, the stylists don’t realize they’re going to be working on twins, but they should have known something was up when they were introduced to their clients, who were … four regular looking young women. Hmmm…

Host Jaclyn Smith introduces guest judge Jose Eber (who’s still wearing that same hat from thirty years ago. It must be permanently grafted onto his scalp), and Jaclyn tells the stylists that they’ll be required to become “very familiar with their clients” (CLUE#1), and they’ll be judged on “how well their style represents what makes their clients unique” (CLUE#2).

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The stylists start, and before they get too comfortable, Jaclyn drops the bomb that they’ll also be styling their clients’ identical twins, and they need to give each twin her own look.

To up the ante, she also informs them that the winner of this shortcut challenge will earn a place in next week’s final, which sends the stylists into fits and shrieks.

Jose judges the cuts, and shockingly, Nicole wins the challenge. It’s just a good thing that Jose didn’t hear her voice over, in which she repeatedly call him “HO-ZAY” (I know nothing about hair styling, and even I know it’s pronounced “JO-ZAY”). That means that Nicole is automatically into the finals, and either Charlie, Daniel, or Dee will be eliminated tonight.

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The other stylists take Nicole’s win in stride, especially Daniel, who says he’s glad Nicole is in the finals, because she’s the weakest stylist. To be honest, though, I had a hard time concentrating on anything Daniel said, because my gaze was on the huge honking cold sore on his bottom lip. Seriously, this thing looked like Mt. Herpes ready to erupt.

The elimination challenge begins, and the stylists are introduced to guest judge Michael Grecco, who’s a “world renowned celebrity photographer” (although the only celebrities they could come up with were Lucy Lui and Steve Martin).

The challenge involves styling a model’s hair for a photo shoot based around one of the four seasons. Daniel is assigned summer, Dee is fall, Nicole is winter, and Charlie is spring.

See what happens at the photo shoots, and find out which gay was sent home, after the break.

Nicole is up first, and her winter photoshoot is a disaster. She didn’t realize her model would be laying down in fake snow, and the delicate, intricate design she had in the back turns into a rat’s nest. Plus she has to constantly pick the styrofoam snow out of the model’s hair, like it was chunky dandruff. Michael Grecco is not pleased.

Dee is next, and her autumn cut is a big disappointment. She’s supposed to make the model’s hair able to move and flow (because she’ll be bouncing on a trampoline), but she gives the girl the same old modified bob that she gives every client. Michael Grecco is not pleased.

Charlie is next, and he is supposed to create an avant garde cut for a woman in spring on a swing. It turns out to be a less-severe Bride of Frankenstein, and Charlie has to work furiously on it just to make it look “finger in socket”. Michael Grecco is not pleased.

Daniel is last, and unfortunately takes the brunt of Michael’s wrath. Daniel misunderstood what “avant garde” meant, and also didn’t realize that the model would be photographed from the front, and all the busywork in the back was useless. Daniel knew that the model was going to be “misted”, but apparently not the extent, because he exclaims, “they hosed this bitch down like she was on fire!” Michael Grecco is not pleased.

The judging begins, and right away, Daniel’s in trouble. Kim Vo calls his cut “like taking a laxative and a sleeping pill in one night. I don’t understand it.” Well, Kim, let me explain how that can happen … it’s called “being wasted”.

Nicole has immunity (dammit!), and the winner of the night’s challenge is Charlie, for his “frizz on a swing” look.

Which means it’s down to Daniel and Dee for elimination.

And the eliminated stylist is … DANIEL.

DAMN! So the final is going to have Charlie, Dee, and Nicole. Even though I thought Dee should have been eliminated (how many times is she gonna do that bob?), I guess I’ll be rooting for her. Nicole is my second choice (even though she really doesn’t deserve to be there), and, well, those are the only two choices I’ll be able to to fathom.

You can see Daniel’s exit interview below, and be sure to come back next week for the season finale!

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.