Last Week: Sherlock rose like Lazarus from his mock-up grave and we witnessed the life and times of that dead thing on John Watson’s upper lip. Plus, Mary Morstan is adorable and full of secrets.
This week we start off with Lestrade and Donovan’s frustration spiral over what appears to be your classic creepy clown masked crime family. It looks like the pair are about to catch one hell of a break when, beep! It’s your friendly neighborhood Sherlock with a life or death text! Sensing the urgency of the Sherlock Holmes actually asking for help, Lestrade rushes to Baker Street with whatever the British equivalent of the S.W.A.T. team may be.
To be fair, the public skill and social charm that go into giving a best man’s speech at a wedding may constitute more than a minor emergency when it comes to Sherlock.
The lovely Mrs. Hudson brings her trusty pot of tea along to have a subtle talk with Sherlock about how much it’s going to suck losing his best friend to marital bliss. Short of plugging those magnificently long fingers of his into his ears and humming nah nah nah I can’t hear you Sherlock does a marvelous job of shouting over the harsh truths Mrs. H is laying down.
I particularly loved the really open moment he has when he glances at John’s vacant chair and sighs as he prepares for the wedding.
The church bells are ringing and Sherlock is quite obviously on his best behavior (if perhaps a bit confused as to why he’s not considered a part of the newlyweds). As the happy couple (and Sherlock) greet their guests we find out Sherlock has taken his role as best man very seriously indeed, threatening lingering exes, charming the ring boy with images of gruesome murders, and entertaining his appointed bridesmaid Janine with a game of Why You Shouldn’t Sleep with That Guy You’re Checking Out.
Mary and Sherlock gossip about how he’s not actually the only reclusive and unsociable buddy in John’s life and the already displaced Sherlock doesn’t seem to be taking it gracefully at all. But my goodness, aren’t Sherlock and Mary the most unexpectedly adorable friends?
Sherlock puts in a call to his big brother Mycroft only to be given the whole ‘your best friend is getting married and you’re going to be all alone’ speech once more.
Speaking of speeches! It’s finally time for Sherlock’s Best Man speech. And if you aren’t cringing already, well, you will be– starting in about two seconds and continuing until pretty much the end of the episode.
A special Molly Hooper flashback reminds us that she knows this man like the back of her hand and she’s anticipating the train wreck this speech is going to be. Sherlock begins reading out little apology notes from invitees who couldn’t make it, and really, in what other scenario can you imagine Sherlock having to utter the phrases “squishy cuddles” and “oodles of love”? Oh, this episode is priceless.
The scene in which John asks Sherlock to be his best man was both hilarious and a little bit heartbreaking. It’s hard to really process that Sherlock had never so much as grasped that he was John’s best friend. After shocking and insulting everyone at the reception, we can be wonderfully surprised at how aware Sherlock is of his flaws, and how readily he admits to them. But then again, it is a very special day for a better special man.
“Know this today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. In short the two people who love you most in all this world.”
Pass the hanky Mrs. Hudson, the tears are real!
Next, Sherlock declares has stalked John’s blog for the “funny stories about John” portion of the speech. This will be good, some old murder!
Once again, from making a thorough list of everyone who secretly hates Mary and the awful places where they should be sitting to YouTubing the skill of napkin folding, Sherlock is taking his best man duties above and beyond the call of duty. But Mary, it seems, just wants the friends to go out, have fun, and catch some murderers! So she plays both her boys like puppets and has them go off and entertain each other with crime solving like they do.
Wait a minute! You look oddly familiar you sexy shirtless man who is possibly being stalked. Don’t bust you brains; I was on IMDb within seconds. It’s none other than Alfred Enoch, best known for his portrayal of Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter films.
Back to business, it seems like Dean Thomas – sorry – Private Bainbridge, is gonna get murdered! It looks like our duo gets there just minutes too late, but our beautiful naked man is still alive. Not even Sherlock can figure out how the man got stabbed by something thin and apparently invisible inside a locked shower stall, but who cares! John saves the day because, well, he’s more adept than Sherlock when the conundrum happens to not be a corpse yet.
In a speech that is (much like the episode) all over the damn place, Sherlock moves on to a recounting of the world’s most depressing stag night composed of only the groom-to-be and Sherlock himself. After enlisting the help of the ever bad ass Molly Hooper, Sherlock has a plan to go drinking near every place he and John have had a memorable case without getting absolutely blacked out drunk. He has a schedule! Let’s see how that goes, shall we?
Back in Baker Street not two hours later and thoroughly inebriated, John and Sherlock decide to take a case. Wonderful plan! It seems Sherlock’s skills don’t come through during a rough night of drinking, especially his ability to name objects in his surroundings. The pair end up in Lestrade’s drunk tank and afterwards Mrs. Hudson goes into one more rendition of Marriage Will End Your Friendship. Not wanting to hear the details of Mrs. Hudson’s spicy love life (in her younger days of course) John hops over to Sherlock’s where he is investigating the case they lost to their drunken stupor the night before. Women seem to be dating a ghost, it appears. Time to call in Scooby-Doo? The women seem to have nothing at all in common except they’ve all been out with a man that changes his identity entirely with every date.
As it turns out – we’re still at the wedding! No really, am I the only one who forgot for longer than a moment that Sherlock was still giving his best man’s speech? Oh well, Sherlock wraps up by reminding the crowd that John is all that much better than he at saving people’s lives. He’s almost to the finish of his interminable speech when his murder senses start tingling! One of the ghost-dating women knew a little too much about John, he suddenly recalls, and bam it turns out there’s a murderer at the wedding.
It’s like a murder mystery dinner except no one is quite sure if they’re amused! As it turns out the target is that old military buddy of John’s – you know, the one Sherlock is a tiny bit jealous of? Now to find the murderer! Well we don’t know who it is exactly just yet, but the adorable ring-boy with the taste for crime scene photographs connects the dots. The very invisible man that tried to murder sexy Dean Thomas is after John’s old friend.
I don’t know about you, but I grabbed my gut when the method of murder was revealed, eek! The man seems quite prepared to die, wracked by the guilt of having led a mission that got many young soldiers killed. Perhaps he felt it was justified that one of their family members finally got their revenge on him, but Sherlock appeals to his sense of John Watson love and reminds the man that neither of them would ever do something as rude as dying on John’s wedding day now would they?
The day is saved, the murderer is caught, and Sherlock is…dancing? And getting quite a bit of flirting on with bridesmaid Janine!
The happy couple enjoys a lovely dance composed by Sherlock and Sherlock in turn…spills the beans! Well as it seems neither of them were aware, it was more like he gave them the good news. But oh happy day, Mary (and John and Sherlock) are going to have a baby!!!
The angst lingers however, as Sherlock realizes that he will indeed be all alone now that John and Mary are off to have a family without him (silly Sherlock, always being so tragic) and he slinks out of the wedding early.
All in all, this episode was a heap of fun with minimal angst. Perhaps it was a little disorganized– the jumping back and forth in time was a little more jarring than usual– but what concerns me most is that all of this happiness for John and Mary? I don’t think it will last. I think we should all hold on to our seats for one very painful season finale.