"Glee" is a show about teens with raging hormones and good singing voices. Usually those two things result in embarrassing late night crying, and painful acapella performances, but in the faux-niverse of "Glee," it translates into a cornucopia of hot, talented dudes. Whatever, we'll take it.

But in the sea of hotness, who comes out on top? Judging from these topless photos of Cory Monteith, Darren Criss and the rest of the "Glee" cast, they all have the same amazing personal trainer. But which is your absolute favorite (and apologies, but we couldn't find any shirtless pics of Chris Colfer or Kevin McHale)? Come on, we won't tell...

[caption id="attachment_79373" align="aligncenter" width="600"] First, we have Mark Salling, who offers Pierced Nipple Realness, a little landing strip on his pate, and a long with a steaming heap of man boobs. Like, man boobs in a good, sexy way.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_79376" align="aligncenter" width="600"] When Harry Shum Jr. thinks about you, he touches himself. (We swear!)[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_79375" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Chord Overstreet, I suffer no fools who make up stupid stage names like Chord Overstreet, but on the other hand, I'd like to eat off your abs, please. So, conundrum![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_79377" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Darren Criss is perpetually taking his shirt off and letting it blow in the wind. Thank God.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_79383" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Help! Cory Monteith appears to be stuck in his shirt![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_79374" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Gah! Mr. Schuester! What are you doing here? This feels vaguely reverse-pervy staring at a guy who plays an inspirational teacher on TV, and I like it.[/caption]

Of course, if none of these guys is doing it for you (because you are crazy), there's always this:

[caption id="attachment_79386" align="aligncenter" width="607"] Sue "motherfucking" Sylvester[/caption]

We don't judge.