Shirtless Ryan Reynolds Versus Shirtless Ryan Lochte

What fresh hell is this? You go on an all-weekend bender only to emerge Monday morning to find out that Ryan Reynolds, America’s Most Sexy Towel Boy or whatever, is now married to Gossip Girl star Blake Lively. This is Reynolds’ second marriage — notably also his second marriage to a woman 10 years his junior — and Lively’s first. And while we wish the very best for these two crazy kids, we’re mostly sorry to see that Ryan Reynolds’ abs now belong to someone else.

Ryan Lochte, on the other hand, is still very single, footloose and fancy free. But what’s weird? Apparently Lochte had a thing for Lively and wanted to hook up with her after the Olympics.. But while Reynolds may have won the battle over Lively, the jury’s still out on who’s got the better body. So we give you an ab-off — Ryan Reynolds vs. Ryan Lochte. Pick your ab-tastic poison.

ryan reynolds and ryan lochte shirtless

Reynolds has like, an 8-pack. Lochte has a Men's Health cover. Advantage: Reynolds.

 

ryan reynolds and ryan lochte shirtless

Reynolds is wearing really terrible jorts. Lochte looks surprised. And wet. Advantage: Lochte.

 

ryan reynolds and ryan lochte shirtless

Reynolds terrifies in a still from "Amityville Horror." Lochte terrifies by showing us his sex face. Advantage: Reynolds.

 

ryan reynolds and ryan lochte shirtless

Reynolds is drooling. Lochte is showing off his medal. Advantage: Lochte.

It appears to be a tie. What do you think?

Julie Gerstein is a fan of all abs. All of them. Follow her at @havethehabit.