Should San Francisco Let Homophobe Chris Culliver Play in the Super Bowl?

No sweets, please

Chris Culliver (Image: Yahoo!)

Since NewNowNext is conspicuously devoid of hard-hitting sports journalism, we thought we’d write something in honor of Super Bowl XLVII (which takes place this weekend sometime during the Puppy Bowl, in case you were wondering).

Unfortunately, all we could find was this bit about some homophobic remarks made by a player for the Sodom Stinkfists. Err, the San Franciso 49ers.

So, oh well, here it is.

Chris Culliver, a 24-year-old North Carolina native, shocked the world Tuesday by announcing that his team has no gay guys on it and, even more unbelievably, that he does not “do” gay guys.

“I don’t do the gay guys man,” he said Tuesday. ”I don’t do that. No, we don’t got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do…Can’t be with that sweet stuff. Nah…can’t be…in the locker room man. Nah.”

Well, you heard it here fellas. Your dreams of being the little hedgehog cheerleader to San Francisco cornerback (that’s a thing) Chris Culliver will forever remain just that. Dreams.

Chris Culliver, why must you quash our fantasies with the brutal reality of your homophobic nonsense spewing?! Where have you had such bad encounters with gay guys? We mean you no harm! We don’t even know who you are!

But we do know that this has happened before and, despite the careful chastising of loose-lipped homophobe players by NFL suite types, it has happened again.

So, what should be done about it?

Not surprisingly, Culliver and reps from the football team representing the gayest city ever have apologized, albeit very weakly. However, no punishment has been issued other than the tongue lashings (no homo, Chris) of various bloggers.

Does letting Culliver play in the biggest game of the NFL season, as HuffPo writes, inadvertently condone his idiotic remarks?

Probably, but it doesn’t look like it’s in the NFL’s interest to do more than a quick gloss-over when these things happen. Over and over again.

But we feel lucky that, since no gays will likely be around before or after the game to stand up to Culliver, we’ve got Brendon Ayanbadejo going up against him during it.

Listen to Culliver’s silly, silly interview below.