Lindsay, the new Lindsay Lohan docuseries, premiered last night on the Oprah Winfrey Network and, as expected, completely OWNed the night. The riveting series proved to be one part Intervention, one part Hoarders—and all parts train wreck. Naturally, it was brought to you by Cliffside Malibu, one of Lindsay's numerous rehab clinics. Whether this sponsorship will be a win for the center remains to be seen—the same can be said of Oprah's sponsorship of America's favorite troubled starlet. One thing's for sure though, we'll be watching!

Here's what you need to know:

Lindsay's intention is to be honest

Yeah, that'll happen. Good thing Oprah's intention is to call her out on her shit. Can't wait for that "Cut the bullshit" byte OWN has been teasing.

Lindsay is a Stage 3 hoarder

WIth a storage space bigger than your city block we all learned something last night: this girl's got a lotta shit! She also likes to lay out all her jewelry on the floor and meticulously polish and examine it. Hmmmm, nope doesnt sound like drug induced behavior to us.

Lindsay does not go to AA meetings

Despite half the show consisting of her getting in and out of Escalades while being chauffeured around the city Lindsay admits that she feels like a "prisoner" and decides she cannot handle leaving her hotel room when it comes time to, you know do that pesky chore of actually getting help for her addiction.

Lindsay's personal assistant used to work for Shaun White and Steven Tyler

And "addiction specialist" was clearly listed in the "other talents" section of his resume.

"Fetch" T-Shirts exist

In related news, Dina Lohan has no idea what "Fetch" means, as evidenced when her daughter shows her one of said t-shirts

It's pronounced Low-HAN

She said it herself, kids! Whatever happened to "Lowen" as Lindsay preferred to be called in 2011? Rehab rebirth? Tomay-to/To-mahto. Whatever who cares.

Lindsay airs Sundays at 10/9c on OWN