“SNL” Perfectly Parodies Every Lesbian Period Drama Ever

"Two hours of excruciating tension all leading up to a sex scene so graphic, you'll think, 'Oh right, a man directed this.'"

Move over, Ammonite: “Lesbian Period Drama” is the next big thing in sapphic cinema.

One hilarious skit from this past weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live perfectly parodied the burgeoning genre of pining-filled lesbian period dramas. With overt nods to recent films like Portrait of a Lady on Fire and Ammonite, the sketch sees SNL regular Heidi Garner and guest host Carey Mulligan play “two straight actresses who dare not to wear makeup” in a sapphic period piece set against an indeterminate European backdrop.

via GIPHY

Of course, this is SNL, not a real film, so Gardner and Mulligan are eventually joined by actual lesbian and comedy vet Kate McKinnon as the “stone-cold ex” of one of the leading ladies. “Oh, yeah, we were together for two years,” McKinnon’s character says, “but the sex was so bad that we broke up even though there’s not another lesbian for five whole countries.”

The trio proceeds to talk sparingly with each other until Gardner and Mulligan’s characters finally consummate their longing glances and fleeting touches. Naturally, “Lesbian Period Drama” features a “drawing scene” — and a lesbian sex scene “so graphic, you’ll think, ’Oh right, a man directed this.'”

“Lesbian Period Drama” wasn’t the only queer-related sketch from the April 10 episode of SNL. Out comedian and “Sara Lee” legend Bowen Yang also made a memorable appearance in the Weekend Update segment as the sassy iceberg who sunk the Titanic. Yes, it’s as brilliant as it sounds.

Watch Gardner and Mulligan’s sapphic skit below, no moody walks along the shoreline required.
 

Brooklyn-based writer and editor. Probably drinking iced coffee or getting tattooed.
@_sammanzella