“Step It Up & Dance” (1.05): The “Finally, Dancing!” recaplet

The only thing that could have saved this episode would be if these guys suddenly segued into Take Me Out.

It took a while, but Bravo’s Step It Up & Dance finally managed to include actual dancing in an episode. The theme was the baseball musical Damn Yankees, and I have to say right off the bat (sorry!), that I’m calling B.S. on this whole episode.

The show starts off with an appearance by guest Jason Alexander (yes, that Jason Alexander, who’s actually a Tony-winning musical performer). That leads to the first cringe-inducing moment of the night, as Janelle has this tragic exchange with an off camera producer:

Janelle: "I wish i could have been on an episode of Seinfeld … maybe that’s what we’ll win!, you never know!"

Off Camera Producer: "Um … it’s off the air"

Janelle (looking like a deer in floodlights): "Oh…it is?"

Don’t worry, Janelle, I’m sure you’ll be kicked off in time to see that final episode of M*A*S*H* everyone’s talking about.

Next we meet Damn Yankees choreographer Lee Martino, who will judge, after an audition, which dancers are put in the winning group and the elimination group, and this is where things get fishy…

The winning group will consist of four dancers (two teams) who will each perform the dance duet Whatever Lola Wants, which means that the two women remaining (Janelle and Michelle), basically have to be in the winning group, because there’s no way they’re going to let two guys do a sexually provocative dance like that. So, the two women "survive" the bogus audition, and they’re paired up with Cody and Nick, the two straight guys remaining, which leaves the three gay dancers in the elimination group.

Why were Cody and Nick chosen over the other three? Choreographer Lee doesn’t say outright, but a common theme in this episode is "masculinity", or rather, the lack of masculinity. At one point, she tells our three guys that they need to "start dancing like men", and of course, there’s broken record judge Nancy O’Meara, who once again brings up the "M" word in picking apart the guys. I’m not saying that the three gay dancers were all put in the elimination group on purpose, but my eyebrow was definitely raised.

So, Miguel ,Michael, and Oscar are in the elimination group, and with Miguel having immunity from last week, that means either Oscar or Michael will be going home. Tensions are definitely high the rest of the episode, and frankly, none of our guys ends up looking very good.

All Hail Kellogg’s Porn Pops!

Michael had a very rough week. He knew it was a 50/50 chance he’d be eliminated, and he just did not get the hang of the Damn Yankees number. Even worse, he felt (legitimately) that Oscar and Miguel were excluding him, and he never got the proper rehearsal time with either of them. It culminated in a screaming session with some of the other dancers in the apartment, and a hot verbal confrontation with Oscar after their elimination dance.

Was Michael eliminated? Or was it Oscar? find out after the break!

Miguel was devastated when Homeless Chic didn’t catch on

Miguel wasn’t nearly as annoying in this episode as he has been, and actually elicited a chuckle from me when he has this exchange with Oscar:

Oscar: "Do you know who is winning immunity tomorrow?"

Miguel: "Cody…of course. Like he needs it. He could pick his nose on stage, and they’d be like ’brilliant!’".

I think the fact that he knew he couldn’t be eliminated made him loosen up a bit, and not be so defensive. (Cody DID win immunity, btw.) There’s no doubt that Miguel would have been shown the door if he didn’t have immunity, because he was just awful this week.

Oscar Campisi is Halle Berry as Eartha Kitt in Catwoman 2

Oscar was a mess this week. He was sure that this challenge would be perfectly suited to him, and he was livid (sorry, "leevid") that he was put in the elimination group again. He was cattier this episode than I’ve ever seen him (his close proximity to Miguel is probably to blame), and he actually referred to Michael as "she". Ugh. When it came to the final dance-off, it was down to the wire who would be given their dancing papers this week.

As Michael and Oscar stood next to each other on stage, I was torn. Oscar is my favorite personality of all the dancers, and I knew I’d miss his humour, but Michael is … hot. The judges decided to award masculinity over technique (that comes straight from Nancy), and Oscar was eliminated. That means we’re down to six dancers: two women, two straight guys, and two gay men.

I’m sure that wasn’t planned, of course.

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.