Lately I've witnessed the same scene play out over and over: A man and woman plan to meet for the first time at bar. It’s usually in the early evening, and one of them will be sitting there gazing at their phone, trying to keep from looking too eager. The other walks in, and approaches tentatively.

At first they're very formal—like this is a job interview. But they loosen up quickly.

The guy talks about his crazy friend, who is either a pot courier or makes absinthe in his bathroom, and how less crazy he is than his crazy friend. The girl talks about her office mate and how superficial she is and how her friends have changed sooo much since college. Then their legs start touching.

Within an hour, you get the sense that they're leaving to go have sex.

Watching heterosexuals discover how easy it is to hook up with astranger in a 1,000-foot radius is like watching a baby try bacon for the first time. Now that Tinder has exploded across the heterosexual population, straight people are kind of the new gays.

Internet hookups among my straight pals have become common—not quite as common as they are for us gay guys, but they're gaining on us.

In an effort to help heteros avoid the same fumbles and humiliations I and so many gays have made, I've listed tips to keep in mind while Tindering or OKCupiding, or whatever those crazy kids do these days. (Bonus: they work for gays, too.)

Pay attention to how a person writes.

You can tell oceans about someone by their syntax: Short terse language makes for a short, terse, probably horny one night stand. The use of exclamation point when someone replies “I’m great!” can signal the person has energy and optimism, but over-use of the exclamation point can signal they're crazy high-strung.

SOMEONE WHO USES ALL CAPS IS PROBABLY SCARY AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED.

People’s profiles are illuminating.

With just a few words, you get a window into someone’s personality. There are those sad, cynical entries where someone says, “I’m sick of players and liars!” Those people are depressed and need a hug more than they need sex.

There are those demanding and nasty profiles. “DON'T GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IF YOU ARE FAT. BE SERIOUS AND READY TO MEET NOW.” Those people should be avoided.

Your online self is an extension of your real self.

Who you are online is who you are as a person. That means if someone says something racist, homophobic or incredibly narcissistic, then that’s who they are as a person. I know that sounds like a no-brainer, but for some reason it’s easy to forget when you are staring at someone’s profile and fantasizing about who they could be, in your head.

When searching for love and sex online, sometimes imagination can be your best asset and your worst enemy.

Step away from the drama.

If someone is rude or an asshole or depressed, don’t give in to the urge to fight back. Do you really want to look at the clock and realize you spent seven hours in a pointless dialog with this awful person? If it is, then you should just start dating a troll.

If it's not. It’s best to step away lightly and cheerfully, like “I hope everything works out for you! I have to head out now. Take care of yourself.” Then block them.

Don’t wait for a response. Remember, you can’t change people.

Unsolicited dick pics get a bad rep.

They don’t always have to be overly aggressive or rape-y. It can just mean the guy is horny— that’s all. We were all born naked.

Ask a lot of questions.

Where do you live? Where did you grow up? What are you passionate about? If they don’t answer these questions, give them one more chance— maybe they were busy cooking dinner or Hulu-ing  Elementary.

If they don’t answer a second time, they're being #shady.

A lot of people out there are hot but dumb.

Like the guy I chatted with who thought Boston was a state. You can have sex with them, of course, but just remember: They are dumb and always will be.

Don’t feel shame.

Some people are embarrassed that they are doing this hookup-app stuff. (I know I was for a long time.) But people have been meeting over long distances for centuries. They sent each other steamy letters and pined achingly for each other's touch. So get over yourself.

Admit to your own desires.

It’s perfectly valid to not want a long-term relationship with every person you meet on Tinder. Not every encounter has to lead to someone handing you a rose.

We are all sexual beings full of desire—some of those desires are sweet, and some could make your nose hairs curl. The more you're in touch with your desires, the more honest you'll be—and the more likely you are to get what you're really looking for.

You're not actually saving time.

Ye, you can do it while you're in your ratty gym shorts, eating some Amy’s Organic veggie bowl over the sink, but you're still spending time searching. And with the sheer volume of available people to swipe through, you'll take just as much time as you would have if you went to a bar.

Rejection happens—and sometimes it's ugly.

Some people think because it's online, they don't have to be accountable. You will almost certainly experience some very mean rejection, and it will not feel good. Like the time someone sent me an anonymous message that he was lucky he never met me because “I am getting ugly.” (Seriously. Am I back in seventh grade?)

As well-designed as it may be to find love, sex and pet supplies, the Web is also a perfect medium to serve up rejection. Be sure you let yourself feel things, and don’t harden yourself, but don't die a thousands deaths at every brushoff or rude comment. Try practicing empathy: Maybe this person is hurting and you're just the dartboard for their issues.

But it’s not worth your time to take on their pain. Just acknowledge it and move on.

Don't rush.

Take your time and play the field. Don’t be discouraged—it's incredibly rare that you'll meet someone of quality after just chatting with two people for a few days.

It might not go anywhere.

Understand that some people are just bored and are chatting to pass the time. They may sound interested but never agree to make plans.

And understand that sometimes that person will be you.

Monitor your emotional health carefully and constantly.

Sex can be a spiritual pursuit—a less-acknowledged path to finding out who you really are. But with it becoming as convenient as a Fresh Direct delivery, sex can also begin to feel like a commodity. There is often a feeling that you will never be satisfied, never find the right one. It can hover over you while you look and look and look at profiles.

Just remember why you are doing this, and what you're looking for. Underneath those potential encounters, there is something deeper and constant within us all.

Yes, it is possible to find love online.

Love can come in many different forms, through manifold mediums. Love can last a lifetime, a weekend or a moment. It is beyond value (or it should be).

And every one of us deserves it.