Open with a cocky real estate agent is getting
ready to sit under one of those bee-hive dryers. Having seen all of the Final
movies, I know exactly how this is gonna end. And sure enough…
Still on the run from the Leviathans, Dean wakes from his Castiel
– Amy Pond wet dream nightmare in an empty motel room. Don’t you
hate it when the person you’re sleeping next to sneaks out? But judging from
his obvious reaction, he is used to it. He simply reaches for his coffee
whiskey and computer. Welcome to my life, Dean!
Soon, Sam comes back from his
run. I am going to start a petition that no Winchester brother should be
allowed to work out if he is wearing clothes. 5 episodes into the season, and
we haven’t seen even a single ab.
were out playing Lance Armstrong, I was working”
two people, including Fried-hair lady,
have died in freak accidents in the town of Prosperity, Indiana.
So Thelma and Louise Winchester pack up their
meager belongings and “Get your motor running…”
interviews the victims’ families, Dean CSIs the salon and finds an ancient coin behind the bee-hive dryer
machine. Meanwhile, a Dewey Stevens is getting himself nailed in
the eye to the port-a-potty by a free floating ghost nail gun. Seriously, this
is getting more and more Final Destination by the minute.
Dean finds yet another coin in the potty. This whole coin business seems
a bit shady, if you ask me. A little hacking and googling and Sam finds that all the three victims were associated
with a badass playboy millionaire Don Stark (James Marsters) – no relation to Tony Stark, another playboy
millionaire – who seems to be making googly eyes at his cupcake-making
A quick search of the house reveals that Don’s wife, Maggie (Charisma Carpenter), is a witch
who is pissed because her husband can’t keep it in his pants. It
really amazes me that all those rich people never seem to have a single servant
in the house, and anyone can snoop around wherever they please.
telling Don to grovel at his wife’s feet to forgive him, the boys break into
Mrs. Stark’s house and find a Voodoo shrine of all the victims
including the latest victim, Li’l Miss
The boys head over to Cupcake’s
house, where she is busy choking on cupcakes with tiny hearts in them and
puking her guts out.
had tiny hearts in them. Tiny hearts. Tiny hearts‼”
Okay, I have
a confession to make. I had a cupcake exactly 10 minutes before watching this
exact scene, and the feeling was mutually exclusive. But Sam and Dean rush in
and save the day (for both of us). It seems everything is finally going to be
all right. Until…
Okay, let’s back up a bit. After Dr.
Phil Dean advises Don to beg for forgiveness, he does exactly
that. But Maggie has no time for her dear husband because she is busy
planning a charity event co-organized by her best friend, Poison Ivy, who
we also learn was responsible for Maggie walking out on Don. As Don, who
apparently has more ego than Crowley
and Cas put together, walks out of
her show, Maggie destroys his commemorative bust.
“Now that’s just getting’ nasty.
Killing the girlfriend is one thing, but his commemorative bust… Now, that’s
just gonna hurt,” Dean says. And sure enough, minutes before the event, Don
gloats as her event falls apart.
Well… It just so happens that Don Stark is also a powerful witch, who
unlike his wife, does not like to flaunt his powers. (A real match made in
But when Ivy, who is
competing with Don for Maggie’s affection, tells her that she should forget
about him, a plate flies outta nowhere and slices her throat, giving an
entirely new meaning to the words “Cutthroat
Competition.” And the
war is on.
But the boys have a plan. All they have to do is get the warring couple
together and burn a pound of chicken feet before them. Ew‼
backfires when the husband and wife decide to unite against the common foe. Is
this a bad time to quote Denzel Washington in Remember the Titans?
Shift to Plan B. The brothers
tell the couple they both really love each other, because they haven’t killed
each other yet and after throwing Sam around and…
actually talks about their problems. And 800 years of pent-up aggression
translates into one long kiss. Aww…
But we are
not done yet. Remember that Cheese-eating Leviathan from the 3rd
While the brothers are busy playing marriage counselors to a
couple of 800 year old witches, he has been tracking them all over. He finally
catches up with them in Prosperity and sneaks into their hotel room and kicks
their collective Angel-killing-Hunter asses.
But as the brothers are getting their asses kicked, an unlikely savior
comes in and zaps the Leviathan. It seems Don was there to remove the cursed
coins, Maggie had placed under their beds, and saved them instead.
This brings us to very important revelation. The Leviathans cannot be
killed by Guns or Colt or Silverbuck shots or cars and they change vessels (bodies) faster than Lady Gaga changes her hair colour, but they can be zapped to death?
So, all the brothers have to do is borrow the Tesla from Warehouse 13’s Pete (Eddie
McClintock) and zap them back to the Purgatory.
All those in favor of Supernatural – Warehouse 13
crossover, say “Ay‼”
The brothers, pack their Leviathan in their Impala and… singing “I’m a poor lonesome cowboy, a long long way
from home…” hit the road.
To all the readers, Diwali starts
tomorrow. So Happy Diwali, y’all. Have a great weekend. See you next year…
(well, Hindu New Year). And since, this is a festive occasion, here’s
a special gift. J