Maybe it's because we're soured on the whole Winter Olympics, but Ralph Lauren's designs for Team USA are pretty cringeworthy.

This morning on Today, The all-American designer—well, actually his son David—debuted the fashions American Olympians will be sporting during the opening and closing ceremony parades in Sochi. The best thing we can say is that they're made in America. (As if the belabored stars-and-stripes motif wasn't a dead giveaway.)

The ensemble, which slobs like us can buy on RalphLauren.com, include a patchwork cardigan emblazoned with stars ($598), a cream cotton turtleneck sweater ($245), slim-fitting white fleece athletic pants with the “Team USA” label ($165), black leather boots with bright red laces ($395) and a cotton belt accented with American graphics ($75). Oh, and let's not forget the $100 reindeer hat.

We can't imagine any other situation these garments would work for—but maybe that's because the American flag has always been a problematic fashion motif. (Curse you, Betsy Ross!)

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="560"] Ice hockey player Zach Parise[/caption]

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="560"] Ice hockey player Julie Chu[/caption]

Lauren also designed fair isle sweaters, wool turtlenecks with snowflake motifs and comfy wool peacoats (with giant Polo insignias on them, of course).  He whipped up more casual clothes and accessories for athletes to wear in the Olympic Village, including a mesh polo, half-zip mockneck pullover, a long-sleeved Team USA T-shirt, and a full-zip fleece sweatshirt.

The veteran designer got in trouble during the London Olympics for outsourcing production to China, so much has been made about this year's "Made in America" line. Funny how the U.S. Olympic Committee got bent out of shape over that, but has turned a blind eye to the human-rights crisis in Russia.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="560"] Figure skater Evan Lysacek and ice hockey player Julie Chu[/caption]