Previously on Teen Wolf, Kira Yukimura rolled into town with her dad, her mom, and her mom's army of fox-squashing masked men, only to discover that she, too, was a mythical vigilante with lightning powers. Chris and Derek palled around, bonding over how they're tired of almost always getting blown to smithereens as a reward for keeping Beacon Hills safe from its daily doom. And the full Get Along Gang combined their supernatural abilities and arsenal of military grade weapons and extradimensional sexiness to try to save Stiles from being possessed by Kira's mom's ex-boyfriend's steel-toothed mummy-man trickster-demon spirit, the end result of which was: Double Dylan O'Brien.

Dr. Deaton hauls the twins and Isaac over to the Beacon Hills High locker room to debug them, a thing that involves him shoving his hands into their esophaguses and pulling out fly larvae, I think. It's gross, but not as gross as yarfing up a whole person's worth of ratty bandages. Talk turns to Lydia, her whereabouts, her darling face, which leads to talk of other darling faces; namely: Stiles and Nogitstiles and the current conundrum about which one is which.

Melissa McCall is pretty sure the Stiles in Scott's bed is regular Stiles because of how his vital signs feel human and he's not menacing her, but regular Stiles invites Mrs. Yukimura and the Glowy Eyed Death Eaters over to check his ears to be sure. They do. They give him the backwards 5 tattoo. He's legit.

Where is Lydia? She's locked in that narrow stone walkway at Eichen House, where so many of those people in the internment camp were burned alive, listening to the zillion voices of the zillion ghosts that haunt those horrific halls.

As soon as Kira returns home from her day of solving mysteries and fighting crime and being a general badass, her mom insists they sit down for a nice game of Go. For one thing, it's what Lydia and Scott saw Stiles playing with the Nogitsune in the hyper-white hallway of his subconscious. And for another thing, no adult on this show can just say a thing that means a thing; they have to teach their lessons in the most cryptic possible ways. And for a third thing, Mrs. Yukimura probably just wants to spend some quality time with her daughter before her inevitable death because of how's HBIC's never survive more than two weeks here.

Sheriff Stilinski hasn't slept in a long, long time. He's sitting in his office staring at the walls wishing he'd taken a job as a detective somewhere safer and less weird than Beacon Hills. Somewhere like Gotham City. Deputy Parish offers to bring Sheriff some coffee, but Sheriff is more interested in knowing how come a guest character with such a sweet disposition has managed to stay alive this long. Parish smiles, shrugs, says, "Because I'm not a lady and because something mythical, probably."

There's no time to parse out his deal because Scott shows up with real Stiles in tow, and boy do those two Stilinskis ever hug it out.

Then:

Sheriff: This whole story is the weirdest shit.

Stiles: Wait, what did you just say?

Sheriff: "The weirdest shit."

Stiles: No, before that. The very uncommon phrase you said before that. It reminded me of something.

Sheriff: "This whole story"?

Stiles: Yes! How weird! I one time heard someone else whisper that esoteric utterance. A girl at Eichen House. Meredith was her name. You know who else knows whole stories? Lydia. I'll bet Meredith is also a banshee.

Sheriff: That checks out, in terms of logic. I'll go to Eichen House and investigate further.

Sheriff does go to Eichen House, where he discovers that Meredith has been sent to the locked ward and dosed with a strong sedative by that sadistic orderly with the taser. He escorts Sheriff through the criminal masterminds wing and arrives at Meredith's jail cell in the closed ward, but — surprise! — she fakes him out with the oldest trick in the book: a pile of human-shaped clothes that's not really a human. He rushes into her cell and she locks his dastardly ass right inside. (Spoiler alert: Meredith is the bee's knees. Petition to keep her around.)

Ethan and Aiden are strolling through the woods for some reason when they get absolutely assaulted with gunfire. But not just any gunfire. Wolfsbane bullet gunfire. Even though they killed Erica and Boyd and perpetrated glow-in-the-dark rager in his loft, Derek Hale decides to save them. He swoops in and pulls them to safety by the scruffs of their necks and stashes them in a cave that looks like the cave that Malia the werecoyote called home.

Isaac and Alison track down Lydia's car. They know it's Lydia's car because Isaac says it smells like seven percent lip gloss, three percent Chanel, forty-five percent genius, fifteen percent fear, and thirty percent white-hot righteous indignation. Alison laughs because that's her Lydia, all right. They sit in the car and look for clues and discuss the issue of consent w/r/t the sex they had the other night when he was at least half-possessed by a hell fly. Isaac says it was all him, which makes Alison remember that sometimes Scott used to leave messages on her car window that she could only decode if she breathed on the glass. She does that now. A message from Lydia tells her to absolutely not come find her.

Beacon Hills High. Even though the Get Along Gang has given up all pretense of attending high school, the normal human teenagers in town are still operating under the delusion that they will graduate go to college, instead of being mauled to death by a pack of hyena robots during the SATs. Coach spends the first few minutes of class hollering into his phone about the bill from his trip to the ER from when he got shot in the stomach by an arrow on the cross country trail. He for real goes, "$10,000? What'd you do, pull out the arrow and fill the hole with diamonds?" When he hangs up, he starts in on a lecture about the problem with healthcare in this country, but is interrupted by Danny (hi, Danny!), who points out that there's a new crackpot in class today.

The crackpot in question is awesome Meredith. Coach and Danny try to coax her into explaining what the heck she's doing here, with varying degrees of aplomb. They don't get any actual answers out of her before the Eichen House orderlies show up, guns a-blazin', to take Meredith back to the asylum. Kira steps up and begs Coach not to send her with them and Coach, amazingly, is like, "Who are you?" Doesn't matter, though: Awesome Meredith escapes on her own. Or, well, she creeps down to the music room to thumb the piano strings and ask the spirits to enunciate more when they speak to her because right now they just sound like whispered gobbledygook.

At Scott's, Stiles wakes up from a nap shivering and in crazy pain because the gods can barely deal with the jealousy they feel because one of Dylan O'Brien's faces exist on the earth. Two of Dylan O'Brien's faces is making those vain deities just spittin' mad. One of them has to go. Scott hugs Stiles and tries to rub some warmth into his limbs and Stiles is like, "Do you think maybe this is because I lost my virginity to an ice-blood werecoyote lady?"

In the basement of the Argent's apartment building where they store their arsenal of weaponry, Alison is doing gun stuff when Chris shows up and offers to teach her how to make silver bullets. She says she'd rather make silver arrowheads since her weapon is a bow. Chris' face is like, "All the women in our family die horrific deaths, but not you, and so my heart is glad." And the music is like, "Joke's on you, motherfucker."

Speaking of jokes: While the Get Along Gang is whiling away the day, waiting for the sun to set so they can take the Oni and go after Nogitstiles, Lydia is getting psychologically tortured by that guy. He growls at her and gets up on her and sniffs her hair in that gross serial killer way, monologuing all the day about how he eats feelings and he's insatiable and that's why he has kidnapped Lydia because when the Gang shows up to rescue her, it's going to be a buffet of despair and chaos.

Oh! Hey! A commercial for The Maze Runner! Three Dylan O'Briens in one night! No gay man or straight woman will be alive to read this recap in the morning!

Back in the band room, Meredith is still playing those piano strings when the orderly comes callin' with his taser. It looks like it's back to the asylum with Meredith, but then! A hero from the shadows! It's Coach! He turns the orderly's taser back on him, citing the school's strict no bullying policy, and paralyzes that dillhole right to the floor! Coach! Isaac and Scott and Stiles swoop in and save Meredith, bringing her back to Scott's house, where Agent McCall is just milling around aimlessly in the middle of the day. Stiles tries to pass off Meredith as his girlfriend, but she's like, "Yeah, no, Isaac is more my type."

Upstairs, Isaac and Stiles try to help Meredith help them find Lydia. Stiles finally hands her his phone because of how she did all her seer stuff on the payphone at the asylum, and sure enough, she has a chat with some spirits and discerns that Lydia is trapped with Nogitstiles at Eichen House.

Downstairs, Agent McCall confesses to the season's big secret. Why'd he leave? Why'd he stay away? Why was it somehow Melissa's fault? I was thinking Stiles and Scott are real brothers or Melissa was (quite rightly) in love with Sheriff or, at the very least, some lower tier supernatural thing, like, Agent McCall's sister is a pixie or something. But nope. See that dent in the floor at the bottom of the stairs? It's from where baby Scott's noggin collided with the hardwood floor when his dad dropped him down the steps in a drunken stupor. Scott says he is not forgiven. It's not that he minded being dropped on his head. What he minds is that Agent McCall has been away all his whole life, and he's been taking clonks on the skull anyway.

Mrs. Yukimura leads the Oni into Eichen House doing the baddest ass bitch walk you ever did see. And soon she is joined by the Get Along Gang. Alison is there. Kira is too. Isaac, Scott, Stiles. Well, no. Real Stiles is passed the hell out in the narrow stone walkway with Lydia because real Stiles has stolen Mrs. Yukimura's last fox tail/knife thing, and when he breaks it, the Oni trade ownership. Cool action sequences, cool editing, cool choreography. Isaac gets slashed up, which is OK, because he's a werewolf and he can heal from anything. Who cannot heal from anything is Allison, and guess who gets stabbed right in the chest by an Oni? Yep, It's Allison. She dies right there in Scott's arms, telling him he's the one true love of her life. Isaac looks on like, "Well, damn. Double damn."

TV very rarely legitimately shocks me, but I actually gasped and covered my mouth with that Death Eater knifed Allison right in the heart. My money was on Isaac and then Chris and then Sheriff Stilinksi. But not Allison. I mean, I get that Crystal Reed was growing weary of being a 29-year-old playing a 17-year-old, but holy crap, dudes. I'm glad she went down fighting, taking an Oni with her. I'm glad she didn't end up in "boarding school" with Jackson. But heavens, I will miss her sweet face. All we can hope for now is that Chris Argent will go Dark Willow.

Next week: Derek welcomes Chris into the Losing Everyone You Love club with some tombstone-shaped cupcakes and a hug. Coach Finstock, high off his his taser victory, buys a BB gun and ends up right back in the emergency room with another $10,000 bill. Nogitstiles clones another Stiles and the gods destroy the earth with a sharknado. And Allison joins her mom and Aunt Kate for an afterlife spin-off that's just like Charmed, but sixty-six percent more psychotic.