Scott and his friends must defend Satomi’s pack against an army of hunters. Peter and Meredith relive old times.
Previously on Teen Wolf…. Delectable Deputy Parrish got burned alive, which was awful, but he got better and ran around naked which was fantastic. Team Scott was attacked by music, but they chose not to hang the DJ. And Meredith came back from the dead to creep everyone out because she knows how to play to her strengths.
So…. TW starts, again, with a blond girl running for her life. This little ironic twist was really neat the first time they did it. Now it’s getting tired. Because of course she’s a werewolf running from another pack of faceless assassins.
Brett’s got her back. You know, if the murderers had got to him in the showers and he was running for his life in nothing but a towel out in the rain, that would have been something. It’s not like his character exists to add depth or anything. Artwork is meant to be on display.
Anyway, they get chased to the sports field where they are cornered and they prepare for death. But at the last second, Kira returns to save the day. That was fantastic for two reasons: 1) No dead Brett 2) Kira gets to be a hero. All her by herself, she fends off the army of killers. Go Kira!
But show, we need to talk about this katana thing. I know katanas are even cooler than bow ties and fezes, but if you absolutely insist on making Kira the Samurai Princess instead of letting her use her awesome kitsune powers, then you really need to send Arden Cho to some kendo classes. The katana is supposed to flow, one move into the next. She uses it like a baseball bat and it’s very distracting.
Or at least hire a better fight coordinator.
Scott throws gas-sodden jeans on the floor like any teenage boy would do, and is somehow simultaneously pulling on his jacket. Pretty sure it would be strip, shower, gratuitous towel scene (potentially with Liam) and then getting dressed but sure. This is Chaste Wolf now, so whatever.
Liam has also changed and cleaned up and along the way lost his courage. Poor boo. I really like that the show is letting this freshman just be a scared wolf puppy who actually acknowledges that they’re putting their lives on the line and he’d sort of like to live to see his next birthday. It’s a fresh new perspective.
Scott doesn’t make him go off to war, though. He tells him it’s all cool and he’ll drop him off at home. Liam looks all shame-faced but he doesn’t argue. I like the dynamic they have, and I feel I can safely say that because Dylan Sprayberry has been signed as a series regular for Season 5.
Stiles, meanwhile, is in the hospital. Wait, what? Creepy Meredith didn’t eat their brains or something? I wasn’t expecting her to cooperate. Huh…. Anyway, Melissa McCall is doing another one of her triple shifts for free, which we assume is what she does to explain her being broke, and she blocks Stiles from escaping before he can rack up even more hospital bills.
“Even if I let you go, what would you do?” she asks, which is a silly question. He’d end world hunger while solving the Global Warming Crisis all while being insanely adorable of course. Or he’d do something else equally spectacular. He’s Stiles, after all.
Lydia has camped out at the Sherriff’s office to get any news on Meredith and her rantings. But Meredith isn’t talking. So they’re holding her on Suspicion of Mass Murdering and Total Batshit Insanity until they get her to confess. I recommend they use the Comfy Chair.
Scott meets up with Kira at Deacon’s Vet Clinic. After the fiftieth or sixtieth heterosexual kiss of the season (homosexual kisses: zero, obviously) Kira lets him know she found Satomi and the rest of Satomi’s pack. Now they just have to find somewhere to stash them and prepare for the wolfapocalypse.
Chris Argent is doing some plant shopping in a totally Chris Argent way—by kicking the crap out of the idiots that get in his way. I love what a total badass he is, even when he’s just looking for a centerpiece for his dining room table.
Or whatever the thing was. Maybe yellow wolfsbane? What effect might it have on werewolves? Perhaps they’d all break out into showtunes?
Melissa decides that since she can’t keep her son and his friends safe from the evils of twisted druids and homicidal lizards, she can at least interfere in their love lives. So she locks Malia and Stiles in together until they work things out. It’s questionable perhaps to trap a recently-feral werecritter in a small space with a very breakable teenage boy, but Melissa’s heart was in the right place.
Stiles and Malia talk around their problems, but basically Stiles begs her for forgiveness for lying to her about her dad. And by dad I mean Peter, not her adopted father who no longer exists.
“I don’t have a lot of experience with things like forgiveness,” she explains. “Some things I’m picking up fast, like eight years of schooling, an entire crucial social developmental stage, two years of physical age and bi-curious tendencies. But other things are harder whenever the plot requires it.”
And then they make out and heterosexual kisses of the season increase their lead.
Papa Argent drops his floral arrangement off at some vacant building he owns and runs into Scott and the werewolf refugees. Argent correctly points out that Scott very well could have and should have asked. But Scott knows that if he’s going to keep his promise that no more Supernatural Americans die, he’s going to need to enlist the help of people who actually kill. And no one is better at that than Papa Argent.
Malia discovers that there is yet more plot revelations to be mined at the lake house and so she and Stiles run off to investigate. I like Malia, I do, but it sure does seem that Stiles’ expert sleuthing skills are taking a backseat to her werecoyote superpowers. And I liked that Stiles could have a big impact on the plot even without supernatural advantages.
Lydia badgers the Sheriff into letting her talk to Meredith. And she does make some progress. At least she gets Meredith to put words into sentences, so that’s a win. Meredith really does want to help, but she’ll only talk to Peter.
Apparently, she’s as big of a fan as the rest of us.
Derek makes his St Crispin’s Day speech to the rag-tag band of were-persons and pro-were-person rights supporters. It’s a great speech and all, and I love that Derek showed us some of the alpha he could have been, but there’s a problem.
Wouldn’t the pile of bodies all over Beacon Hills of all the assassins who have tried to make money off the Dead Pool have already sent the message that Derek was talking about? I think it’s been made pretty clear how very messy your death will be if you take up monster hunting as a career.
Peter gets to talk to Meredith and makes it very clear they’ve never met. I really have to hand it to Maya Eshet for her performance. She really has that look of someone who is hearing voices in her head, like she’s hearing a whole other conversation even while the scene is taking place. I love how utterly perplexed she is that Peter has no idea who the eff she is.
Peter finally loses patience and does the Lupine Mind Meld with her. Wasn’t that for werewolves only? Maybe it works on all supernatural beings. In any case, we get a front row seat to total spectacular, scene-chewing madness. Peter, when he was in a coma from being burned to a crisp, wandered into Meredith’s mind and ranted at her for weeks on end about how all the supernatural things had to be killed for reasons that barely make sense. He gives her the entire plan, including naming the Mute and the Chemist. He also mentions the Desert Wolf, but why a supernatural creature would want in on this action is a mystery.
Scott and his army face off with the jacked-up werewolf hunters. There’s smoke and roaring and slow-mo and so on. Braeden uses a shotgun, which is pretty much the worst weapon one can pick for this sort of fight. Scott uses his fists. Liam, unfortunately, doesn’t appear. I guess he’s still hiding under his bed, poor thing.
At the lake house…. Okay, none of this makes any sense. How did no one ever notice the computers making noise in the wall? It couldn’t possibly be sealed that tight or the things would overheat and die. And how did it interact with modern day smart phones? And how is it wired for the internet since it predates the internet by about two decades? How did it manage to function for forty years? And why would Gramsy Martin hide them in the walls? And since Gramsy was the only one with access, how did it get programmed to be the Benefactor? Why replace the wine with some other substance? What was the other substance? Since Garret drank it, how did he not notice it wasn’t wine? How did no one hear the rattling of the key inside it when they were moving it around before?
Let’s move back to Peter. That will be a lot more fun. He insists that he had nothing to do with the Dead Pool list, aside from having described it in detail and laid it all out in a step-by-step format because he was totally crazy at the time. But he’s not crazy anymore.
Sheriff Stilinski looks like he might just shoot Peter on principle. And Peter, devilishly wonderful Peter, isn’t about to be cowed. Oh no. He makes it very clear that he knows the Sheriff has no case and so he has no choice but to let Peter go. Lydia makes some point about how this is a part of Meredith’s plan, which I didn’t follow. And Meredith becomes totally unglued when Peter walks out.
Sheriff Stilinski warns him, though, that this is absolutely the last time he gets to be evil. I really don’t want to see him take on Peter because he will be dead and that will make Stiles cry and that would break my heart.
Scott saves the useless blond girl from the opening scene and climbs atop the assassin and goes to town on him. Fortunately, the guy is wearing Kevlar so Scott’s attempts at using him for a scratching post are basically futile.
And then the assassins all get a text—which they all check in the middle of a firefight—that tells them the mission is over. Well…. That was anticlimactic. No mega alpha powers revealed. No shocking arrival of Liam. Not even the surprise appearance of reinforcements from some Wendigo tribe out for a little payback (and a late night snack).
Okay, so that’s over. I guess.
Meredith and Lydia have some girl talk where Meredith confesses that she sort of agrees that all supernatural people are monsters who should die. But Lydia points out that not all of them are monsters, some of them are lovable, ineffectual doofuses like Scott. And that makes Meredith feel better. And then she feels really bad about all the people she got killed.
Meredith also lets loose with a little nugget about Peter and how he has always been and will always be the alpha. Interesting, since he wasn’t the alpha when she was mind melding with him and she doesn’t seem to have been keeping up with him on Facebook, so she wouldn’t know that he was an alpha for a while and isn’t now.
We finish out with Peter in his Lair of Evil talking to Crazy Kate about the fact that he’s a little unsettled after learning that the whole Benefactor thing was basically his fault. But that doesn’t matter because he has a plan and he’s still going to make it happen.
Very soon, he is gonna kill Scott.
Two more episodes left. Sound off in the comments!