2015 was all sorts of a mess. In loving homage to a year that brought us Poot Lovato, introduced the now-ubiquitous term “Netflix and Chill” and gave us so many good Adele “Hello” parody videos, how can one really accurately summarize this last 12 months?
Instead of attempting to create the best or worst moments of the year, below, we’ve rounded up 10 of the year’s biggest head-scratching headlines.
Kim Davis, Just In General
The only Kentuckian with arguably more press this year than Jennifer Lawrence, Rowan County clerk Kim Davis made international headlines when she defied a federal court order requiring that she issue marriage licenses following the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. Davis was eventually jailed for a brief period before eventually being released.
Left Shark’s Rise To Infamy
Not since Jaws has a shark managed to make such a ripple on shore. Left Shark became the talk of Twitter after his (or her, verdict isn’t out on Left Shark’s gender) sloppy performance as a background dancer during Katy Perry’s Super Bowl halftime performance.
Back in April, Perry attempted to register Left Shark’s design with the U.S. Trademark Office. Unfortunately, the plea was rejected and Left Shark, like so many sharks, shall remain in the public domain.
Anti-Gay Pastor’s Canceled Plans To Dress Up As A Woman
Kenneth Adkins, an anti-gay pastor living in St. Simon’s Island, Georgia but purporting to live in Jacksonville, Mississippi, canceled a well thought out plan (note: sarcasm) to dress up as a woman to protest Jacksonville’s Human Rights Ordinance.
Calling himself Miss Jane, Adkins warned he would protest an event that was to feature words from out lesbian Houston mayor Annise Parker before ultimately backing out.
“Anyone who would do that has no concept at all of what gender identity truly is and how hateful and hurtful that is,” Parker told WFOX-TV.
A Giant Black Dildo That Struck Fear In The Hearts Of NYC Subway Riders
A Man Who Duct-Taped His Girlfriend’s Kids To Chairs And Forced Them To Watch Mommie Dearest
Look, we love Mommie Dearest just as much as the next gay, but not this much.
A Nebraska man faced felony child abuse and false imprisonment charges after he duct-taped his girlfriend’s two young boys to chairs and forced them to watch the iconic 1981 classic.
Oliver reportedly told police that he “didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” Riiiiiiight.
Mary-Kate Olsen Featuring “Bowls And Bowls Filled With Cigarettes” At Her Wedding ReceptionGetty Images
Mary-Kate Olsen’s wedding to French banker Olivier Sarkozy over the Thanksgiving weekend was filled with joy, merriment and cloud upon cloud of cigarette smoke.
According to Page Six, party decor consisted of “bowls and bowls filled with cigarettes, and everyone smoked the whole night.”
The Clip-On Man Bun Becoming Dangerously Close To Catching OnPopsugar
Back in October, Groupon (remember them?) began offering a sale on clip-on man buns, attachable hair prosthesis which are affixed to the back of a guys head to create the illusion that he woke up like this.
POPSUGAR swiftly created a “Real Men Try the Clip-On Man Bun and the Results Are Hilarious!” which appropriately summed up our/the nation’s feelings on this mess.
Carly Fiorina Eating Dog Treats
GOP presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina ended the year with a bow wow, by releasing a campaign video with some of her canine friends – cute, right? Sure, until she started eating their dog treats. “I used to eat Milk Bones as a kid,” she says. “I thought they were very good.”
Fiorina continued her odd attempt at candor telling one of the pups, “You know, President Obama ate one of your cousins!” referring to a passage in Obama’s autobiography that describes him eating dog meat as a boy in Indonesia.
What’s the opposite of woof?
A Saudi Prince Who Was Accused Of Forcing Staffers To Watch Him Engage In Gay Sex Acts With Male Aide
Back in October, Saudi Arabian Prince Majed Abdulaziz Al-Saud was accused of a mountain of misdeeds including forcing his staff to watch him engage in gay sex acts.
The graphic accusations against him include claims that the royal attempted to urinate on a trio of female staff members while screaming, “I want to pee pee,” and forcing one of the women to watch while a different male aide bent over and farted in Al Saud’s face.
That #whiteandgold / #blackandblueDress Mess
No headline was as divisive in 2015 as the argument as to whether or not that damn dress was white and gold or black and blue – the answer to which we still do not know.
In the first week after the meme surfaced on Tumblr, more than 10 million Tweets mentioned the dress. A large-scale scientific study on the dress was even published in Current Biology.
One thing is certain: That dress, regardless of color, ain’t cute.
Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments.