In Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie , opening today, Patsy and Edina flee to the south of France after "accidentally" killing Kate Moss.

But it's hardly the first time the boozy best friends have committed an atrocious act—in their long friendship they've done despicable things to friends, strangers, even family members.

Below we recount 23 of the horrible, no-good, malicious things Patsy and Eddie did before drowning a beloved supermodel.

Patsy tried to have Saffy aborted.

"When I heard that Eddie was pregnant, I told her to abort! Abort! Abort! Abort! Chuck it down the pan!" I said 'Bring me... a knitting needle!'"

Eddie and Patsy tried to get Saffy addicted to cigarettes.

When Patsy is forced to try to quit, she and Eddie secretly slip a nicotine patch on Saffy. "Hitting a wasp, dear!"

Eddie let Saffy get fondled by her old friend Humphrey.

According to Pats, taking Saffy from behind is the only way she stands a chance.

They both got drunk before the funeral of Eddie's father.

Eddie and Patsy both toppled into empty graves. Gran tried to defend her with "She's very upset, you know."

Eddie slept with the husband of her old friend Bettina.

Bettina (Miranda Richardson) was forced to listen to all the action on her baby monitor while Saffy and Gran stood by horrified. "Is that it then?" Eddie asked when it was all over.

Patsy committed adultery with a married MP.

Causing a major sex scandal in the tabloids, Patsy was only enraged that her real age was printed in the paper (Spoiler: she's not 39.)

Patsy may have a slight drug problem.

"The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford Clinic."

Eddie stole a case of wine.

Pats tells the judge "My name is Patsy Stone and I am an alcoholic, and what she did was an act of humanitarian mercy."

Patsy tried to prevent Eddie from spending Christmas with her family.

The lesson? Never turn down Patsy's invitation to party.

Patsy refused to learn Saffy's name.

But she had some colorful nicknames for her.

Patsy sold Saffy into white slavery.

During their visit to Morocco, Patsy bartered Saffy's virgin flesh for 2000 Dirhams!

Eddie appropriated Afro-Jamaican culture.

She just wants to hear some dubstep.

She never visited her daughter in jail.

But she had a good reason: She was too fat.

Patsy urged her sister Jackie to commit suicide.

When she realized Jax wanted to open a shelter for stray cats, Patsy handed her a syringe and declared “Do us all a favor, babe—go out with a bang!”

Jackie actually did die—"Heroin overdose. So Merry Christmas, sweetie!" declared Patsy.

They crashed the Olympics

The ladies steal Marshall's tickets to a chi-chi party at the London Olympics and gatecrash the event. Before they're thrown out, though, they make the most of their time in the stadium.

Eddie harvested an enormous live Christmas tree from Scandinavia.

Who cares about the environment? The tree would have just ended up as cheap furniture at Ikea.

Eddie threatened to shoot Lulu.

Well, the "Shout" singer wouldn't join her for lunch. (Meanwhile, Patsy invited herself to dine with Britt Ekland and Zandra Rhodes, who had no idea who she was.)

Patsy set fire to Eddie's kitchen.

It was an accident. She just nodded off.

Patsy also burned down New York bar Hogs & Heifers.

While searching for Eddie's long-lost son Serge, Patsy lit up again. This time she and Eddie were both arrested.

Eddie ruined the birthday party Saffy planned for her.

Turning 40 can be very stressful.

Eddie and Patsy attacked a woman's car.

Road rage isn't pretty.

Eddie broke nearly every single rule of the road.

Eddie was cited for speeding, driving without a license and without, driving while intoxicated, allowing another person to drive her vehicle under the influence of alcohol. (Charges of assault, abuse, attempted murder and robbery were dropped.)

She did, however, come up with a novel defense.

Patsy committed some moving violations of her own.

But at least she's wearing protection.

Watch "24 Hours of Ab Fab," featuring Seasons 1-5 airs, airing now on Logo. And catch Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie, in theaters now.