Well, kids: it’s over. The Supreme has been chosen, the unworthy have been banished to various unsavory afterlives, and the next generation of power-hungry succubi has been recruited. American Horror Story Coven was easily the franchise's campiest season, and the finale confirmed my fears that well-planned story arcs and subtlety are not among the Seven Wonders. At least everyone seemed to be having a good time. Here’s the final dribbles of insight from the ladies’ last hurrah.

Coven-tional Wisdom: Four Final Lessons from American Horror Story Coven

LESSON ONE: Plan ahead

This is crucial. Fiona remained one step ahead of the game up until the very end—because she was playing chess while everyone else was playing teleportation tag. Misty, on the other hand, neglected to leave a trail of breadcrumbs, and now she’ll be stuck in eighth-grade biology for all eternity. The other kids are totally going to make fun of her for her shawls.

LESSON TWO: Have a rallying cry

Myrtle was this hour’s dominating force: She sealed the deal as the Supreme of my heart when she ended her life with a triumphant bellow of “BALENCIAGA!” Not to be outdone, however, Fiona stole back the final curtain call by imbuing “KNOTTY PINE?!?” with a forceful mix of every emotion a human is capable of feeling.

Jessica Lange’s Emmy reel should just be those two words.

LESSON THREE: Think of others

Even if you don’t like your best friend’s favorite blouse, don’t “accidentally” spill wine on it. She’ll resent you forever. Also, if she’s a reanimated amalgam of several frat boys and her blouse is actually a love interest, she might murder you. Better to kill yourself in the name of nobility, a la Myrtle. At least then you can choose what you’re wearing when they find the remains.

LESSON FOUR: Maintain high standards

They’re not the Six Wonders, Madison. No one let you get away with your oh-so-over-it petulance during the trials, nor should they. AHS' showrunners could really use this as a meta-lesson: Stop building scenes around sassy one-liners, cramming in meaningless guest appearances and substituting style for substance. Coven was fun like nachos, but lacked the substance of Asylum’s carefully prepared three-course meal.

Next year, give us some nourishment. But still with a side of nachos.