The Scientific Certification Systems (SCS) administers an agricultural certification program in the florticulture and horticulture industries known as “Veriflora.” The program labels fresh cut flowers and potted plants as “sustainable” that live up to the standard that the organization has established. A product is judged on it’s environmental, social, and economic sustainability as well as it’s product integrity. Across the country, over 1 billion flowers are currently Veriflora certified and available for purchase. Some plants just don't make the cut.

This week in The Garden of Live Flowers, America’s florists were “going green.” First to wander into the flower shop were Derek and Jenny, two blonde pixie gnomes that had just escaped from Witch Mountain. As the rest of our flower children arrived, someone randomly asked Jenny if she’s psychic. “What?” she says laughing. “No. Of course not.” Quick cut to her saying:

“I think it really helps that no one knows I’m psychic.”

This is how these things work in the Garden of Live Flowers. Nothing is as it seems.

“Not all arrangements are created equally.”

Gigi quickly popped up onto the scene to explain this week’s Seedling Challenge to the floral designers. Apparently, the flowers on The Arrangement exist in some sort of Jim Crow-like world where some are held in higher regard than others. At the bottom of this caste system, are the so-called “bright” flowers that make up your average, sentimental, get-well-soon type of bouquet. Gigi presents a collection of these untouchable flowers to the contestants. It looked like someone threw up a bag of skittles. Each florist then had to take one of the hideous bouquets and turn it into something classy/sassy for a specific occasion. The flower gauntlet had been thrown.

The designers were forced to randomly choose an occasion that they'd be re-designing their bouquets for. Some of these were actually pretty hilarious. Eddie draws “Thank You For Being A Frenemy” which brings to mind some amazing Golden Girls/Vera Charles like creation. Some of the other occasions drawn were “Congratulations On Your Boob Job” and “To the World’s Best Parole Officer.” Are they sending that one to Gloria? Miss you!

After Gigi is done talking/posing, the group quickly demonstrates their Artistry, Resourcefulness, and Execution by committing what looked like 6 petty crimes and a misdemeanor to manhandle each other and grab their before-and-after bouquets. To be fair, these were pretty awful looking bouquets, but they did have potential. They were like Anne Hathaway flowers at the beginning of a Devil Wears Prada bouquet.

Derek and Guillermo head back to their stations, and start talking some dirrrty flower dirt talk about whether or not they're a “daddy.” Spin-Off Idea: Guillermo's Daddy Bouquets. Is it just a greenhouse or did it get a little hotter in here? Do what you do, G!

Meanwhile, Eddie’s frenemy bouquet was being inspired by his real-life, ongoing tension with Jenny. Too real, you guys. Apparently, this tension took the form of a deconstructed glitter carnation vase. AS IT WOULD. It's Dynasty-tension, y'all. Across the room, Jenny kept going on about how she thinks Eddie is not funny and fake. She clearly knows this because, you know, she is a psychic. Shhhhhhh.

Over on “Dude, where’s my baby’s breath?” Russ was having a hard getting his flowers to work together. Anil used a bunch of Calla Lillies for his arrangement which Eric ended up loving for some reason. I thought it was kind of boring. Tenley ended up using too many colors and ingredients for her boob job creation, and Derek used anthuriums because, apparently, they say “You’re a dick.” The more you know. My favorite description of the new bouquets was Eric’s description of Guillermo’s as a little wild and fruit salad. Right? He knows what’s up. Oh, and Jenny ended up just hot gluing some petals on a teddy bear.

“If your natural inclination is not to use stuffed animals in flowers, why did you go against it?” Tale as old as time, right? Guillermo wasn't having it.

So Anil and Derek ended up in the top two, but Anil won the challenge. This is of course something that Anil "totally expected” and “wasn’t at all surprised by." This is because he is the Lady Gaga of Flowers.

“It’s not easy being green."

On to the Weedout Challenge, and Gigi brought out some eco-friendly celebrity party green hostess plant good-times cap and trade party favors out lady named Nicole, and Nicole loves ECO-LUXURIOUS events. Almost as much as last week’s visitor loved Saw, and the week before that’s loved fun shopping malls.  Russ, meanwhile, is not interested in eco-whateveritisanything.

For this challenge, the floral designers will have to make some eco-friendly centerpieces for Nicole’s big green party. The next day, the Mystery Gang all show up at the Los Angeles Flower Market and hilarity of hilarities the place is closed. But Old Man Gigi has left a clue!! To the mystery mobile!

Gigi’s clue/death trap led the contestants around to the back of the flower market where Gigi popped out of a big dumpster in a martian sex suit. As one does. She proceeds to tell them that since this week’s theme is being kind to the environment, they will be using recycled flowers from this dumpster. Anil gets to dive in first, (yeah?) because he is the Head Designer In Charge and also because he won the Seedling Challenge. Of course, the VIP HDIP goes for the gladiolas.

When the rest of the designers join in on the Freegan Fun, the simmering Cold War Flower tension between Eddie and Jenny once again surfaces after both go for the same stem and Jenny just decides, you know “F this. I want this flower.” There comes a point in every girl’s life where she must make this decision. In any case, all of a sudden it was World Flower Fight Federation in that dumpster, and Gigi just hovered above in her aluminum catsuit like Linda McMahon.

Eventually the gang rolled out of the dumpster in their orange prison jumpsuits, clutching their hard won Kangaroo Paws and getting their ass out of Shawshank. Gigi told everyone to get a good night’s sleep, Jenny sang her flowers an old Scandinavian lullaby and they all went to bed.

The next day, everyone was putting together their freegan arrangements, and they all begin to look more and more like salads. Or those fake vegetables that people put on their tables in ranch homes. Eddie’s arrangement in particular had the striking appearance of the miniature black forest in Germany where Jenny’s witch ancestors hail from.

Sure enough, however, another twist! Just as everyone was finishing their foraged floral fantasies, Gigi told them they'd have to make another arrangement! With locally grown flowers! Cue running florist stampede for supplies! “You’re hurting the orchids!!” It didn’t seem too difficult for everyone to put together another piece, but Russ remained casually perplexed. Turns out, the team could only pick one of their arrangements to show the judges. Either the recycled flowers or the second arrangement. Sophie’s Choice Inc.

The usual tea party showed up for the judging including Our Lady of Gigi, Eric Badass, and special guest EcoNicole. Also in attendance, was this hot guy Antonio that I’m assuming GLG picked up at a bar in Reno the night before while Jenny was tucking her petunias in for the night. Everyone’s final arrangements looked like vegan potpourri or something you’d see at a wedding where the couple pours sand together or something.

Jenny’s finished arrangement was too simple again. I’m beginning to wonder why she’s still here. Shouldn't she be running for senate in Delaware? Derek’s looked like big stalks of asparagus dipped in ketchup.

The Judges thought Tenley’s arrangement was edge-y, in a “lemon slices” kind of way, but poor hot Antonio was just looking for some more EXTRAVANGANZA in the flowers. Work, Tony. Work.

After the panel deliberated and Gigi and Antonio shared a couple inside jokes they'd made the night before, Russ and Eddie found out that they were in the bottom two. ARRANGE FOR YOUR LIVES!!! Eddie kept it simple, but Bro decided to throw in some purple accents. Purple accents that were, unfortunately, not appreciated and Russ was sent home. We’re gonna miss you Russ. Keep spreading the beauty. Just think, if nothing was ever thrown out, we'd never know what to keep.