David DeCoteau’s “1313” Brings More Beefcake Bonanza

Hercules! The Bermuda Triangle! Bondage! Self-Rubbing! David DeCoteau works his magic again.

Will Lance Leonhardt, Skylar Hart and Nathan Kehn become the next rising stars of the DeCoteau stable?

A while back I paid tribute to the … unique … world of gay filmmaker David DeCoteau, who has carved out his own niche in cinema with his collection of what can best be described as “Boxer Briefs Horror.”

He brought us such classics of the genre as Voodoo Academy (starring a then unknown Riley Smith and Drew Fuller), The Brotherhood Series (starring a then unknown Sam Page, Sean Faris, and Brandon Beemer, as “Frat Slob #2″), Leeches! (starring a then unknown Josh Henderson), and Killer Bash (starring a then unknown Cory Monteith).

He’s spent the last couple of years on a project titled 1313, which is a series of films revolving around the same mansion somewhere in Southern California, where spooky events traumatize buff young men in underwear.

Thankfully, David has replenished his series with a new batch of 1313 titles, so once again, let’s take a look, and maybe we can spot the next rising star in the DeCoteau universe. Will one of these guys have a starring role on The CW next season?

And once again, I haven’t actually seen any of these, so we’ll review the trailers!


STORYLINE: A group of young men agree to act as “test subjects” for plastic surgeon, Victoria Franks. But their getaway at Victoria’s lavish Malibu mansion turns deadly, as their mad scientist hostess implements a nefarious and homicidal agenda…

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Tyler Scott (The blond with the ass for hours)

FABOO LADY: Helene Udy

BRIEFS SCORE – 10: Lots of briefs shots, coming and going. Bonus points for tighty-whities.

Billy The Kid

STORYLINE: A wounded Billy The Kid staggers into the remote and mostly deserted Western town of Hell’s Heart to recuperate — but soon realizes that he’s pinned down in a trap. The townspeople have been systematically stalked by a tribe of fearful supernatural entities, the Manitou, who now want Billy as their special trophy kill.

FIRST IMPRESSION: The sepia tone and lack of briefs give me Deadwood.

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Ryan McIntyre as Doc Holliday. You may already have seen Ryan, who was on an episode of Shameless a few weeks ago, playing “Full Frontal Frat Boy.”

BRIEFS SCORE – 1: Long Johns? Seriously.

UFO Invasion

STORYLINE: Adam is a graduate student in theoretical astronomy and working on his dissertation. He’s always been interested in what’s ‘out there’ and he finds a perfect opportunity to both work and play…..in Roswell, New Mexico.

FIRST IMPRESSION: We see no UFO’s, or aliens, but we do see some some heavenly bodies … but not Uranus.

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Aaron Thornton as tattooed leading man Adam.

FABOO LADY: Monique Parent

BRIEFS SCORE – 10: Bonus points for bondage and a shower scene.

Hercules Unbound

STORYLINE: Sent to a Gladiator retreat, Hercules frustrates his fellow warriors with his arrogance, but when his rival Capaneous schemes to poison Hercules, he must learn humility and devise a plan to survive a wrestling match in his weakened state…

FIRST IMPRESSION: I’m sure we all remember the legends of Hercules at the Malibu Gladiator Retreat.

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Lance Leonhardt as Abderus. First of all, Lance Leonhardt is the greatest DeCoteau name ever, and secondly … Ab-derus? Oh, and the movie also stars Lou Ferrigno, Jr. as Zeus. What more do you need?

FABOO LADY: Laurene Landon

BRIEFS SCORE – 4: Loincloths just aren’t the same.

Bermuda Triangle

STORYLINE: Treasure hunter Sean has stumbled across a trove of important and priceless artifacts off the coast of a little-visited Caribbean island. To help him with his project, he has assembled a team of experts to authenticate his finds, only to discover that one of the “experts” has quite another agenda in mind…

FIRST IMPRESSION: They had me with purple lightning.

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Stefan Gatt is muscle-guy leading man Sean, but I have to give props to Skyler Hart for his pronunciation of he word “folklore.”

FABOO LADY: Michelle Bauer

BRIEFS SCORE – 10: Not only bondage and a shower scene, but bondage in a shower scene!

Night Of The Widow

STORYLINE: A group of sexy 20-somethings gather to pay their respects to a departed friend, only to become the pawns in a macabre charade of villainous deceit..

FIRST IMPRESSION: Finally, a proper tribute to Gloria Swanson as Madame Maria von Bohlen in Killer Bees.

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Lou Ferrigno, Jr. stars again. Is he becoming a DeCoteau regular, and more importantly, why won’t he strip down?

BRIEFS SCORE – 1: Only one in the trailer.

Immortal Kiss

STORYLINE: Five young men convene on a mansion to meet the mysterious Amina, who has lured them there to become her new consort in the immortal life of a vampire.

FIRST IMPRESSION: I believe this is the first DeCoteaus film with an all-black cast.

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Jonathon Davis as the “he’s dead” guy.

FABOO LADY: Trina Parks

BRIEFS SCORE – 7: We only see a few moments, but I have to wonder exactly how many guys have been tied to that same bed in all these movies.

2: Voodoo Academy

STORYLINE: Young hot travelers are sidelined by a road blocked with fallen trees, and stop for a night at the mansion belonging to sexy Sebastian. The house has a history of voodoo, mayhem and horror, and new arrivals are fresh meat for the hungry house…

POSSIBLE BREAKOUT STAR: Richie Nuzzolese as Sebastian, we’ve featured him occasionally as a Briefs Guy, so he’s up to the task.

FABOO LADY: Michelle Bauer

BRIEFS SCORE – 10: Showers, hot oil, self rubbing.

FIRST IMPRESSION: It can’t compare to the DeCoteau magic of the original.

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.