The Best And Worst of “American Horror Story: Hotel” Episode 3

House keep-ing!

We’re weeks into our stay at the Cortez Hotel and it’s looking like we won’t be checking out for a while now. But now that we know the building’s history, will our beds feel as comfortable as they once did?

Here’s the best and worst of Episode 3.

BEST:

AHS:H March Laundress

Mr March And His Laundress: Sure, the mustache and the accent are grating. But these two are a cute pair of murderous ghosts. The relationship is surely one dimensional, but in a charming cartoon-y way.

AHS:H Chloe Motherhood

Chloe’s Monologue: While voiceover is widely considered a narrative taboo, Chloe delivers a relatively powerful monologue about motherhood and loss at the start of the episode. Spoken in a careful monotone, the montage shows a decent amount of restraint in a series otherwise lacking subtlety.

AHS:H Bates

Kathy Bates Ugly Cry: Yeah, girl! You get that ugly cry! You GET IT!

AHS:H Angela Bassett

Angela Bassett Is Everything: There are no problems with this vampire Pam Grier character or her absolutely ludicrous backstory. This is the kind of over-the-topness this show needs way more of.

WORST:

AHS:H Naomi

Naomi’s Death: Tyra Banks must have loved this scene — but how they gunna bring the Queen of the Runway on to your show and kill her off without even giving her 5 minutes of screen time? (Hey, at least she wasn’t raped.) (I can’t believe I even had to write that.) (But maybe we’ll get to see more of her as a ghost?) (That’d be fun!)

AHS:H Cop and Junkie

These Two Idiots: Have you ever seen two people with less chemistry than this duo? The poorly written cop dialogue (“How’s this for an invitation! You’re under arrest!”) ain’t helping either.

AHS:H Bernie

Bernie Madoff: Wait what? Bernie Madoff? Is Bernie Madoff seriously a character in American Horror Story? What?!

AHS:H Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments Killer: This isn’t so much an homage to Se7en as it is a pure rip-off. There isn’t even a mystery here, considering the audience already knows that March is to blame. So what are we even getting at with this side-story?

freelance pop-culture blogger (NNN, MTV Iggy, Oxygen) / recovering academic / wannabe club kid / satanic hipster / talentless DJ.
@eric_shorey