Oprah. Fonda. Robin Williams. Heaven?
The Butler is happening, and it is… serious.
The movie is based on the life of Eugene Allen, a White House butler who served eight different presidents. Forest Whitaker plays the title role, but he’s surrounded by enough starpower to fuel a few hundred Correspondents’ Dinners. Below, I’ve embedded the trailer, but for now let’s rank the 10 ZANIEST parts of this damn thing, which is slated for an October release.
10. Robin Williams plays Dwight Eisenhower, and he seems to be made of scrap heaps from Bill Murray’s underwhelming work in Hyde Park on Hudson as Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
9. Please note that my girl Jane Fonda is pivoting, staring, and thundering in her one-second cameo as the most austere Nancy Reagan of all time.
8. Alex Pettyfer as mad, gun-wielding chap from the butler’s past: Where was this alter ego in Magic Mike?
7. There are so many celebrities in this movie that we aren’t even introduced to the fact that effing Mariah Carey has a role.
6. Oprah’s stilted kiss with Forest. I don’t even understand what non-feelings I have about it. Maybe I’m traumatized? Or blessed.
5. Excuse me: What is Vanessa Redgrave doing in this throwaway role as Perfect Elder Caretaker Lady? You go back to schooling Ralph Fiennes in Coriolanus this instant!
4. Oh, good. John Cusack doing a Richard Nixon impression. Good. “I give ’em the green light to cut those sons of b*tches.” Good.
3. Melissa Leo looking bewildered as Mamie Eisenhower… as Melissa Leo.
2. Oprah’s insane face-smack. She went for it. She smacked the hell out of Jesse Williams and bothered to look bizarre while doing it. Yes. This IS The Butler.
1. I am haunted by the way Oprah says “butler” at the end. It’s like the way Brett Butler says her own name after drinking a hogshead of Wild Turkey.
Your turn. Gasp at IT ALL.