‘Junk’ Jeans Are Here, To Support Your Junk

Dick jeans

Denim, now with codpiece.

Are your jeans mashing your man-member and leaving you in a constant state of discomfort all day long? Do you cringe when having to put on those “normal jeans” before a night out with friends? Are you a relative of Dirk Diggler? Well, great news for you! The Hot Child has created the perfect pair of jeans, specifically designed to cradle your most precious jewels. No, this is not a joke.

The jeans, which we have to assume were the creation of someone with a severe Napoleon complex, have a built-in codpiece to give your junk that extra bit of breathing room it takes to get through the day. So you won’t be uncomfortable, but you will be walking around in public looking like an as*hole or a sexual predator. The choice is yours.

“The Hot Child Junk,” the super subtle name for these jeans, were the creation of Octavio Silva, a 24-year-old whose mother, Catherine Williams, serves as the talking head of The Hot Child, the Florida based company. Because there’s nothing creepy about that. Nothing at all.

Dick jeans

Creator, CEO and model Octavio Silva

Williams spoke with Fashionista about the company, and had this to say about her son; “I’m the mother of the creator, Octavio Silva–he’s actually the CEO of the company; he’s really the inspiration. He’s 24, he’s beautiful, he’s the face of The Hot Child also. He’s the long haired person you see in all the photos. He has been a creative talent since he was really young, he’s been doing clothes since he was really young.” If only our parents were so encouraging.

Take a look at the jeans above. Maybe we’re just underwhelming, but we have to say we’re not sure we see a giant market for these penial pleasures. But, we could be wrong.

How We Wear Skinny Jeans Now