The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency Recap (Episode 3.08): What Happens In Vegas, Gays In Vegas

On the last installment of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the gang showed that compassion is the fashion in a naked protest with PETA, Janice got all plastic surgerized with a new tummy tuck, and casting for the upcoming Ed Hardy show led to a near knock down between Janice and Stuttering John Peter Hamm leaving god-like Dominic and cute as a button J.P. in the middle. Did this weeks JDMA up the queer quotient or at least deliver some skin to make up for last week’s dreadful showing?

Cue the music "Do your thang whatever it is that you do…"

You remember where we left off right? Dominic flashed some skin, J.P. batted his eyelashes, newbie Payton showed some 18 year old stamina and Janice was having the time of her life with good friend Christian Audigier at the Ed Hardy casting. That is until her Business Partner and all around wet noodle Peter Hamm waltzes in telling Janice that Dominic and J.P. are already booked for a 2xist job.

If this show wasn’t one big set up after another I would worry about the communication breakdown but seeing how this show makes The Hills look like a Pulitzer Prize winning documentary of chance and circumstance, I have to chalk it all up for dramatic effect and client exposure.

Peter explains to J.P. and Dominic that Dom has been booked for 2xist in Vegas for a month (truth) and that just that morning our main gay was placed on hold (possible lie) which would leave both boys with conflicts and Janice in a pickle. If Janice is good at anything it’s her way around a pickle and she tells Audigier to book any model he wants regardless.

The models head to Vegas and there’s all the drama we’ve come to expect from a JDMA outing. Janice is inappropriate about Daria’s marriage situation. Desiree and Janice continue their secret pissing contest to see which one cracks first in the battle for R-E-S-P-E-C-T. There’s the partying and drinking which Janice is constantly trying to halt. There’s a pool so you know Janice is "falling" into it somehow. Then there’s the beauty that these men have to be shirtless around each other as much as possible. What’s that all about?

Then they hit us with the fact that J.P. and Rodrigo have not hung out or even spoken since the blind date we witnessed two weeks ago and in Vegas they’re forced to share a room together!

I was assuming next time we would hear about JPRod it would be to find out they went all domestic on us and were already living together with a designer toy dog and matching monogrammed jockstraps. Instead it’s like watching the adolescent gay games of avoidance as uninterested J.P. tries to dodge the clueless and semi-smitten Rodrigo who’s certain there was a connection. So sad. On one side we have J.P. praying to Beyonce that the whole situation just goes away and then on the other we have Rodrigo taking a gondola ride with CC confessing his undying love interest. It’s a big hot gay mess.

How did JPRod go so wrong? JPRod as a mashup name isn’t working is it? That’s fine because neither are they as a couple. D’oh! Sadly the J.P./Rodrigo coupling will not go down in the gay history books of mature television homo courtships.

Before moving on, can we just take a second to embrace the hilarity of the clueless CC? Rodrigo’s pouring his heart out about the blind date and the first thing out of her mouth is: "Wait, J.P.’s Gay?" And she’s dead serious! Didn’t she basically stalk Janice in order to get into the Agency? That means she studied JDMA and unless that 28 day free-trial of SensiClear came with a lobotomy she should know that J.P. is the gay icon of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.

Before the Ed Hardy Project show can go on there’s still the matter of sorting out whether or not J.P. and Dominic can participate due to their contracts with 2xist. In walks Creative Director Jason Scarlatti to once again save Janice’s butt. He points out his concern for the lack of communication within the agency but he’ll do whatever it takes to work out an agreement (and get more screentime for 2xist).

In the end, J.P. is not needed but Dominic and his fine self will be able to leave the 2xist booth to attend the Ed Hardy show given that he makes up that time. Visions of Dominic naked punching a time card in a dirty warehouse flash before my eyes and suddenly I’m singing Dolly Parton’s "9 to 5."

It’s showtime! Hair, Makeup, Flexing, Oiling, Butt Shots… yup, this is what we like to see on JDMA! Christian Audigier’s show is very Post-Apocalyptic Thunderdome and most of the models look fierce. It looks like a huge success for JDMA as well as Ed Hardy and the newbies look like pros (at ripping shirts at least). BTW, Lakiska has a walk that could go toe to toe with Naomi Campbell, she owns that runway. As for the guys… it’s all about Dominic.

Dominic could be JDMA’s first real superstar model if he plays his cards right. He’s got this tough and rugged Beckham like quality to him that just works! When he hit the runway bumpin’ and pumpin’ that shotgun, I went blind with the hotness. Janice needs to watch how she handles him because I could see him jumping ship very shortly and landing a contract with a huge NY agency.

Back in Los Angeles, Janice calls a huge agency wide meeting that has everyone on edge! Instead of firing half the models like she normally does, she gives them a harsh warning…

"All I can say is that everything is about to change!"

Just a couple other highlights to mention before wrapping up:

  • Kehoe and Traci went on a date this week where he was crushed to find out she was once interested in Janice’s son Nathan. How do you think Traci is going to feel when she realizes Kehoe has a crush on Grant?
  • Janice took Nathan to Ikea to furnish his new apartment but shockingly had no money on her to actually pay for the purchases. I’m pretty sure she left her credit cards (and her dignity) in the little kids bed she was jumping on while spreading her legs to the lord. She’s classy, tasteful, and dependable as a Mom.
  • Is Janice being paid to say "Christian Audigier"? Seriously, if she says his name one more time I’m going to rip my eyes out. We get it Janice, you’re friends and you’re pimping his clothing line. Subtle.
  • What was with Janice’s exposed breast during her one on one interviews this week? It looked like she was nursing an infant or her unformed twin under that blouse. WTF! Were her gays on vacation this week? Where’s Gabe to cover her up?

To end the post this week I thought I’d share a video from the Ed Hardy Project Vegas show taken from within the audience. What’s with the guy at the end attacking the female model? Janice would not approve. Enjoy.