Get ready to fall for Ryan J. Haddad.

From the ages of 5 to 13, Haddad was artistic director of his family theater troupe in Ohio, the Haddad Theater, which began in his living room and backyard but relocated to the local community center, forcing his relatives to act out lovingly bastardized classics. Haddad, now 28 and stealing scenes in Netflix’s The Politician, looks back at these early amateur efforts in his new showtune-sprinkled cabaret show, Falling for Make Believe.

Directed by Julian Fleisher with music direction by Billy Stritch and Henry Koperski, Falling for Make Believe is being presented as part of the Public Theater’s 16th annual Under the Radar Festival, an essential launching pad for bold new works in New York. “The Under the Radar Festival is focused on art from the margins, from unheard voices, those seen as outside of society,” founder Mark Russell told NewNowNext. “The LGBTQ community has existed on the outside of society for centuries—often theater was the only forum to speak of their experience. UTR embraces that history, celebrates its rich, vibrant present, and continues to push the boundaries of who gets their story told.”

After opening night of Falling for Make Believe, Haddad, who is gay and has cerebral palsy, shared more of his origin story with us.

Ryan as a child sounds adorable but a little exhausting. I’m not sure I would’ve had the patience to be in his shows.

I marvel that my family did even one show, let alone 10. When I was a little kid, I took it for granted. I get it now. It’s a feat of real love that they showed me, so that’s what I’m trying to do in return with this piece.

It wasn’t just their love for you. Some family members liked the spotlight.

That’s very true. Many of them had a love of theater, of the arts, to begin with. I gave them the opportunity and the permission to try acting—with pretty low stakes. My Aunt Joan recently told me she would’ve liked to have been an actress, which were words I’d never heard her say before.

Hearing about the shows you put on, one would think your parents knew you were gay from a young age, but they didn’t. I mean, you retooled All About Eve.

Right. The writing was on the wall. But I think when any parents are faced with their child being gay, they don’t always see the clues. There were family members who knew—I talk in the show about my lesbian Aunt Janice and my Uncle Charlie, who is gay. They had been speculating all through my childhood, and I say that with great love and affection.

Two queer actors in your troupe? The Haddad Theater was a pioneer of inclusivity!

[Laughs] Yeah. I’m very fortunate that I had these pillars and safety nets on both sides of the family—not that I needed safety nets, because my parents were so accepting and loving. It’s not like we talked about gay things at Thanksgiving, going around the table asking, “What’s your favorite Judy Garland number?” But having middle-aged gay relatives who were unapologetically themselves, and seeing how my mom and dad treated them, I knew it was okay to be who I was, even if I didn’t have the language for it yet.

You played the title roles after changing All About Eve to All About Ed and Annie to Andy. Did you secretly want to play the female leads in drag?

No. When I was 3 or 4, crawling around doing Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty, I was wrapping a blanket around my waist, pretending it was a dress. But then I got a sense that as a boy, I wasn’t supposed to do that. In preschool, when I played “wedding” with the girls, I wanted to be the bride. A teacher was like, “No, no, a bride is a girl and you’re a boy.” Being told I couldn’t be in drag, couldn’t be the bride, I started to feel like I didn’t have permission to play Snow White or Cinderella.

Or Eve and Annie.

By the time I did All About Ed and Andy, I was 13, and it didn’t occur to me to play them as women. I just wanted to be a fabulous man. I was probably also compensating for what I already knew was an attraction to men, so I didn’t want to rock the boat.

So many missed drag opportunities.

Well, then in college I auditioned for and played Madame Armfeldt in A Little Night Music. And I got to do a production of The Maids at Williamstown Theatre Festival.

Falling for Make Believe celebrates the Haddad Theater run as your queer coming-of-age. Your showtune choices are gayer than anything in The Inheritance.

Thank you so much. [Laughs] Sure, growing up, I was obsessed with Sister Act 2, The Golden Girls, I Love Lucy, Brandy’s Cinderella, the 1999 television movie of Annie… These were the benchmarks of my childhood and early artistic education.

Here you are, still making your own shows. Where does that self-made spirit come from?

I don’t know. Even before I had seen a play, before I could even form sentences, I would watch a movie, adore it, and then act it out. That spark, that need to create, actually faded a bit after Haddad Theater finished. I tried to play by the rules and do community theater, school theater—sometimes with excitement and success, sometimes with frustration and diva behavior on my part. I didn’t understand why there wasn’t space for me to take center stage anymore. I learned through a lot of trial and error, tough and valuable lessons, that I needed to make space for myself, just as I had all those years ago in the living room and backyard.

How did you reclaim center stage?

I applied to colleges knowing I wanted to do some hybrid of writing and theater. At my liberal arts college in Ohio, certain professors and directors were avoiding casting me in their shows, and I could tell that it wasn’t based on my acting skills. I was taking a workshop with an autobiographical performer named Tim Miller, who came from Los Angeles, and I was doing a piece about my frustrations with casting. He told me, “You don’t have to wait. You can write your own material, and your material can be about a person named Ryan.” Everything I’ve created since then is because of that lesson. I also knew that after I graduated, I could no longer play old man or fatherly parts that used a walker.

Did Haddad Theater last so long because you feared potential limitations for a disabled person in community and educational theater?

Yes. But how much of that was actually in my head as a child, and how much am I superimposing on the narrative now? I think it’s a little of both.

With your solo show Hi, Are You Single?, you aim to change how non-disabled people see disabled people, as well as how disabled people see themselves. What do you hope audiences take away from Falling for Make Believe?

What you just said about Hi, Are You Single? could probably be said about all my work. But Falling for Make Believe is really about the family without whom I would not even be able to conceive of the idea of what I’m doing right now as a professional artist. Without all that we created together, there is no me as an artist in New York; I’d probably still be in Ohio, working in an office. But they fostered my creative education, even though they had no tools with which to teach. So the show is a gift to them, to my Aunt Joan most of all. It’s a love letter. But if you get enjoyment out of it as an audience member, that’s extraordinary. When you hear me talk about my family, maybe you’ll think of your own family, your own journey, and whoever helped mold you into who you are.

Hi, Are You Single?, like Ryan O’Connell’s Special, sexualizes folks with disabilities. Has your dating life improved since you started performing it?

I had a brief relationship in 2018 that was a pivotal experience for me. It was very important in that it showed me the possibilities of what I’d never experienced before in terms of sex and just connecting with another person. I’m hoping I can invest that energy into a relationship that’s longer-lasting and more fulfilling. Other than that, no, not really. Like, I’ll meet a guy, show up to what I hope is a date, and he’s like, “I’m married!” But I’m hopeful. I’m always hopeful at the beginning of the year.

You’ve said Ryan Murphy and The Politician producers specifically wanted an actor with cerebral palsy to play your character, Andrew. Will we see him get laid in Season 2?

I can’t say anything about the second season! But I can say that Andrew does return.

Fair enough. The Politician had some big stars in the first season. Were you ever starstruck?

I was invited to Bette Midler’s Hulaween, her benefit for the New York Restoration Project. That was a surreal experience. We took a Politician cast photo, and suddenly I’m standing next to Bette. It was the first time I’d met her. I said, “May I put my arm around you?” And she said, “Please!” So now I have photographic proof that I stood next to Bette Midler.

Falling for Make Believe runs through January 17 at Joe’s Pub as part of Public Theater’s Under the Radar Festival in New York.