This weekend on The Straight Out Report, Stephen and Mike celebrate the return of Real Housewives of Atlanta and the show's inane taglines. Like when Kandi warns, "I'm not about the the drama— Don't start none, won't be none."

Because there's nothing Bravo shows hate more than drama, right?

Then again, who are we to judge—the show's seventh-season debut earned more than 3.8 million viewers last Sunday, breaking a network record.

Below, the Straight Out Report guys imagine what sassy aphorism they'd spew in a RHOA-style intro.

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