For years, a vociferous argument has raged, one that has seemed utterly irresolvable, even as it has sundered gay households.
Ben or Matt.
It’s an age-old conflict, one that precedes even Jake or Heath. First voices are raised, then fists, then the sullen silence of a couple that won’t be having sex that night.
And it’s a woefully bitter dispute. For while no one disputes how adorable Ben and Matt looked together back in the spring in 1998, collecting their screenwriting Oscar for Good Will Hunting in those ill-fitting tuxes, the battle lines were soon drawn, the positions entrenched.
Ben! No, Matt!
In fact, this ancient quarrel has resounded even in these very halls. I took the “pro-Matt” side while Michael has, apart from all reason, stubbornly remained a “Ben” partisan. “But what about Armageddon! Or Pearl Harbor!” I’d argue. “And don’t you remember how cute Matt was in The Brothers Grimm?!”
All to no avail.
Then last night, Michael and I were watching Syriana, and Michael said, completely out of the blue, “Matt Damon is totallly hot. I don’t know what I was ever thinking.”
What went unstated, of course, was the end of that sentence: when I thought that Ben was hotter than Matt!
In other words, even Michael is now acknowledging what has been so incredibly obvious to the rest of us ever since Reindeer Games: even with Ben’s late-game, reputation-salvaging appearance of Hollywoodland, it’s Matt by a landslide.
(Now as to Jake or Heath…Heath, I say! Heath!)