As far as I know, none of the tweets included here have been plagiarized. But who knows? Maybe Daniel Clowes invented all of us. Shia! You're off the hook!

Allow me to get you started on this week's funniest gay tweets with one of my own.

Christmas parties are just Halloween parties where everyone is dressed as a Banana Republic cashier.

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) December 15, 2013

And now, the ten chosen.

Shia LaBeouf stole the idea to plagiarize Daniel Clowes from me! — Bryan Safi (@bryansafi) December 17, 2013

Very excited for Shia LaBeouf's new sitcom, SEINFELD. — billy eichner (@billyeichner) December 17, 2013

3. Guy Branum thinks holidays -- no, wait, all days -- have gotten too commercial.

I just feel like most thursdays aren't really about Thor anymore. — Guy Branum (@guybranum) December 16, 2013

Had that nightmare again where someone else was holding my phone. — braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) December 15, 2013

5. Carey O'Donnell's imagined dialogue between Jessica Chastain and Anne Hathaway is grittier and more real than Zero Dark Thirty.

Jessica Chastain: I want you to have a good Christmas, Anne. Anne Hathaway: Thank you. Jessica: But you can always tell me if it isn't. — Carey O'Donnell (@ecareyo) December 16, 2013

6. Chris Schleicher takes a portrait of our collective fear and refuses to put a filter on it.

selfie: (noun) a futile attempt to escape mortality — Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) December 16, 2013

7. Blake McIver can see his Christmas future, and there are no strings attached to it.

I will never stop loving nsync's xmas album...which is gonna be so awkward when I'm 80.

— Blake McIver (@blakemciver) December 13, 2013

8. The secret ingredient in Sean Brewster's gingerbread latte is fear.

Coffee makes me feel like my stomach is scared.

— Sean Brewster (@TheSeanBrewster) December 15, 2013

"Oh my God that's ameezeen. That's HILEERIOUS." - Everyone at the next table over, wherever I go, always.

— Dave Holmes (@DaveHolmes) December 14, 2013

10. And Gay Cinephile puts the mania of the week into perspective.

Beyoncé released a great album in the middle of the night with no promotion, but Diane Ladd gave birth to Laura Dern.

— Gay Cinephile (@gaycinephile) December 13, 2013