Tony Predictions From Someone Who Has Seen None Of The Nominated Plays

Drag queens!

Drag queens!

The Tony Awards are tomorrow friends, and we here at NewNowNext will be on the red carpet covering everything and anything Broadway, but before then I figured why not give you my picks for who I think will be taking home some hardware from The American Theatre Wing.

That being said, I kinda haven’t seen any of the nominated plays.

So, with this is mind, see who I am totally not betting money on to win big in a few select categories tomorrow night.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if I did better than that dude Patrick Healy?

Best Play

  • The Assembled Parties
  • Lucky Guy
  • The Testament of Mary
  • Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Well let’s be honest friends, that Mary play stars Fiona Shaw, and just Fiona Shaw, a ridiculously talented actor who critics love and awards shows love to ignore, so that’s out. And Parties is about a rich family kicking game in the UWS, something voters can see for free on a daily basis. That brings it down to Lucky Guy and that other one that stars Sigourney Weaver and was written by her gay college BFF Christopher Durang. (Reaad their NY Mag interview here, it is pretty amazing.) Now while I love a gay guy and a muse story, I love Nora Ephron more. Lucky Guy for the win.

Best Musical

  • Bombshell
  • Bring It On: The Musical
  • A Christmas Story, The Musical
  • Hit List
  • Kinky Boots
  • Matilda the Musical

I would give anything for Bring It On to win, mostly because I spent my teenage years reciting the cheers of the Rancho Carne Toros, but this is totally gonna go to Matilda because Roald Dahl is just the best. Also, I can’t get behind a musical that features a slew of drag queens and refuses to cast any of our legendary Drag Race gals. All T all shade Boots.

Best Performance By An Actor In A Leading Role In A Play

  • Tom Hanks, Lucky Guy
  • Nathan Lane, The Nance
  • Tracy Letts, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
  • David Hyde Pierce, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike
  • Tom Sturridge, Orphans

After all that Orphans drama, and Sturridge just being an actual adult and keeping quiet and working and being awesome, I would love to see him win. But I actually saw The Nance, and I can say with authority (Just this once!), that if Lane does not win it is a travesty. A travesty I tell you!

Best Performance By An Actress In A Leading Role In A Musical

  • Stephanie J. Block, The Mystery of Edwin Drood
  • Carolee Carmello, Scandalous 
  • Valisia LaKae, Motown The Musical
  • Patina Miller, Pippin
  • Laura Osnes, Rodgers + Hammerstein’s Cinderella

I would love to see Carmello win just for the chance to see Kathie Lee Gifford, the musical’s writer, go HAM, but I think we all know Audra McDonald was totally snubbed and should be getting this award. Even though, you know, she wasn’t actually in a Broadway musical this season.

Best Performance By An Actress In A Featured Role In A Play

  • Carrie Coon, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
  • Shalita Grant, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike
  • Judith Ivey, The Heiress
  • Judith Light, The Assembled Parties
  • Condola Rashad, The Trip to Bountiful

Judith Light should win the Tony any time she steps on a Broadway stage.

Best Performance By An Actress In A Featured Role In A Musical

  • Annaleigh Ashford, Kinky Boots
  • Victoria Clark, Rodgers + Hammerstein’s Cinderella
  • Andrea Martin, Pippin
  • Keala Settle, Hands on a Hardbody
  • Lauren Ward, Matilda the Musical

Andrea Martin should, like Light, win a Tony every time she walks on stage.