Trixie Mattel’s Old MySpace Pictures, Ranked

It gets better. We think.

Trixie Mattel lamented the embarrassing pictures on her old MySpace page on a recent episode of UNHhhh, the insanely hilarious weekly WOWPresents series she shoots with Katya.

“I don’t remember the password to my MySpace page, so I don’t know how to shut it down,” the RuPaul’s Drag Race season 7 sweetheart bemoaned.

“So my 16-year-old self MySpace page with lyrics from songs I wrote as a 16-year-old, photos I took of myself as a 16-year-old are still up there.”

“Do you realize you’re unleashing the Kraken right now as we speak?” Katya asked. “In this case the Kraken is abject humiliation.”

We went ahead and visited Trixie’s old social media stomping grounds, and while we didn’t find any of those angsty song lyrics, we did find a treasure trove of vintage Trixie realness.

Our favorites are ranked below, from most yAAaAaaas to least.

  1. A consummate professional. She doesn’t even need both hands to play guitar!

  2. According to NewNowNext Associate Editor Christopher Rudolph, “most of these photos are from like a production of Rocky Horror or something.”

  3. Before switching to La Perla, Trixie was a Fruit of the Loom girl.

  4. An early wheelchair performance. All the greats must pay tribute to The Divine Miss M.

  5. Where are the other people who competed in this talent show, hmm? Probably nowhere.

  6. Before she flew in drag, Trixie flew in style.

  7. The birth of that signature contour!

  8. Remember the Structure brand? It’s sold at K-Mart now.

  9. That white briefs/bathrobe combo: 10/10 would host.

  10. Um, Ru?

Check out this week’s UNHhhh below:

Matthew Tharrett is a writer, filmmaker, and above all else, a Britney fan. He once shared a milkshake with Selena Gomez.