What is the deal with everyone staying so clothed on True Blood this season? Will Christopher Meloni ever take off that tie? How much money do silver misters actually cost? Who is nursing poor, sweet Russell back to health? So many questions about this week’s episode, but on to the rankings.
1. Vampires: Authority Edition: Mr. Meloni made his much anticipated debut and did not disappoint, coming incredibly close to killing both Bill and Eric throughout the episode. They seem to have struck a pretty good deal with the two idiots, keeping them alive to lure in Russell and make sure there are no more on-air killings from the former King. Also exciting is the UV lighting system they have installed to make sure no shenanigans go down with their “prisoners” and those liquid silver IVs. Oh, and the fact that there is a child on the authority who in our mind once had a relationship with Kirsten Dunst’s Claudia from Interview With A Vampire. These guys really are the best addition to the show in quite some time.
2. Wolves: Thank you Alcide for declining the offer to eat dear and dead old Marcus’ corpse. It just seems in poor taste, and poor tasting, no matter what tradition calls for. Marcus’ mom meanwhile seems to be figuring into the story in a pretty major way and something tells us she is going to become very close with Luna and Emma now that we have learned that Emma is the world’s most adorable little wolf. Let’s just pray grandma does not force her to snack on any deceased bodies.
3. Vampires: Hot Mess Edition: As if Bill, Eric, Jessica and Pam were not already the world’s dumbest team of vampires, we are now adding batshit crazy Tara to the mix, who seems to be all about destroying stuff and “owling” on countertops. On the plus side, Steve the gay vampire is proving to be a real blast in a glass in his attempt to get in Jason’s pants and it was very nice to see where Pam and Eric’s relationship began. With Eric and Bill away however and poor Pam stuck alone raising sweet little Tara, we feel that everyone’s favorite pansexual vampress may be in danger when Russell is all better after snacking on all those body parts. Get home to your lady, boys.
Still no fairies or werepanthers though, what gives? Let’s up the supernatural activities, writers.