'True Blood' Power Rankings: Episode 6
[caption id="attachment_57613" align="alignleft" width="607" caption="Step away from the stake Meloni."]
[/caption]True Blood keeps on getting better, and quasi-gayer, as season five trucks along. We've got Hoyt getting quasi-bi with a vampire, Eric and Alcide getting quasi-gay for one another as Eric heals Alcide's wounds and Christopher Meloni (we know we never use his chracter's name but, as we learned this week, there was never really a need) wearing the world's greatest Nike golf shirt ever. May all costume designers remember to always put Mr. Meloni in a golf shirt for the rest of time.
Now we rank.
1. Vampires: Back From The Dead Gay Vampire Edition: How we have missed Russell. Sassy, cute and frail Russell. Everyone kept talking about how strong the former King is, but no one seemed to listen as Russell, moments before his execution, went comanche on Mr. Meloni with a stake and, well, Detective Stabler seems to be no more. Way to kill the new hot dude producers.
2. Vampires: Hot Mess Edition: Bill and Eric got Russell (with a little help from Sookie), are enjoying some fine 18th century Austrian blood and no longer have those foolish iStakes on their chest. Back home, Pam is proving herself to still be the wisest and hottest vampire, kicking Tara's ass from time to time to educate the girl on the way of the vampire. And Jessica, well Jessica is still an annoying mess.
3. Fairies: We don't really know what these kids are doing, but they seem to be happy in that TGI Friday's world they live in, always dancing and drinking. Even better, it looks like Sookie may finally get some fairy training to learn how to utilize those powers.
4. Wolves: Mean old meth lady from Winter's Bone seems to be behind these shape-shifter attacks, or know far more than she is saying, most likely to get back her granddaughter, Emma. Also, even though he has no friends, Alcide seems poised to take over Marcus' pack and its members, who all look like they are heading to a Creedence Clearwater concert.
5. Vampires: Authority Edition: So it seems like the entire authority may be traders who were on Russell's side except Barb from Cougar Town, Meloni and long-bearded old dude. Let's hope Russell spares them, and doesn't spear them. Ha!
6. Shape-shifters: Sam better figure out what is going out before his kind goes extinct in Bon Temps.
